The first part
Caleb:Okay. But don’t worry. I promise you, it’s nothing bad, okay, baby?
Baby.Fuck my life. I know he called me that earlier, but to actually see it in writing… I swallow as more tears trail down my cheeks.
I’ll try. I promise
Caleb:Good. See you tomorrow
I lie down on the couch and close my eyes, cradling my phone against my heart. I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow, but I trust Caleb. He’s one of the few people I trust completely. And Emily is right. I have no control over other people, but I am in control of myself.I am strong. I think.
After a while, my phone buzzes against my chest. I turn onto my back and pull up my messages. It’s from Caleb again, and for a second I imagine he’s changed his mind about tomorrow, about us, about me. Holding my breath, I open the text and read it. And read it again. And again.
Caleb:I can still fucking taste you, btw
Holy shit.
Chapter Twelve
Caleb
The day moves along at a snail’s pace, and after lunch, I catch myself checking the time on my phone every few minutes. Kayden’s been hiding away in his office most of the day, and when I ran into him by the coffee machine earlier, he could hardly look at me, his adorable face aflame. Maybe I went too far yesterday. Not with the kiss, but with my last text. I mean, Kayden is not as experienced as my previous—no, it feels wrong to even compare him to anyone else. He’s not a fling or a hookup. I don’t know what we are yet, aside from friends who have kissed, but I want to find out. I want to find out if there’s more, and if he wants more. Something tells me I can’t go at my usual pace this time. I need to be patient and careful, and maybe that’s good for me too. To pause for once and not be in such a fucking hurry to get from A to Z. Maybe the other letters are worth visiting too. MaybeL, M,andNare interesting. And yes… I’ve officially lost my mind, thinking about the alphabet.
I glare at my phone again. It’s still only 3:17, and I usually leave around 4:30. I check another e-mail, but the words don’t really register in my brain. Images of Kayden’s glistening lips after I kissed him keep invading my thoughts. The little noises he made and how fucking right he felt in my arms when I held him. The way he clung to me and how fucking good that felt. I’m not usually a cuddler. I like my space. But yesterday it felt like I couldn’t get close enough to him. Shit, when he straddled my lap. The weight of him on top of me. I felt so… I don’t know… I felt so at peace with myself for once, so grounded, like there was no other place I’d rather be. It’s a new feeling for me because I’m always on the move, looking for the next adventure, but Kayden makes me want to stop and press pause.
Then I think of Sal and what he’s going to say if or when he finds out. Kayden is his kid, his everything, and I’m his best friend. How will that go down? I rub my hands against my face and groan into my palms. I’m getting ahead of myself. Kayden might not even want to explore this thing between us. The thought alone sends my heart plummetinginto my stomach. What if Kayden decides that I’m not worth the trouble with my track record? My very long track record.Jesus. The only positive today is that I haven’t run into Sal because he’s at the bank, then working from home. I could just imagine our daily catch-up in the kitchen over a cup of coffee.
‘Hey man, how’s your day?’
‘Good, good.’
‘Busy?’
‘Nah, not too bad. Just using way too much brain power thinking about how your son—youronlyson—felt in my lap yesterday when I kissed him.’
Right.
Good times.
I glare at my phone again, willing time to move faster. As soon as the digital numbers change to 3:30, I fly from my chair. That’s it! I’m clocking out early. I’m the boss after all. There needs to be some perks to being the boss. I grab my jacket from the back of my chair and swing by Kayden’s office. The door is open as usual, and he looks up as soon as I knock on the doorjamb.
“It’s not 4:30 yet!” he blurts, looking at me all panicky.
I laugh. “I know. I checked with your boss, and he says it’s okay.” And of course I have to go and wink.
Kayden pales, then looks down at his keyboard. He’s in a pale purple short-sleeved shirt, and he looks like summer and sunshine and everything that’s good and right in this world.
“Hey,” I say as I move into his office.
He looks up at me, his blue eyes huge, those damn curls falling onto his forehead. A small stud with a light blue crystal sits in his one earlobe, trying to outshine his eyes, but there’s no fucking way. He looks 100% delectable.
“I’m freaking out,” he says, then digs his teeth into his bottom lip.
“Me too,” I admit, and surprise flashes across his face.
“Really? Caleb Morgan is freaking out?” A shy smile plays along his lips, and mine tingle with the phantom feel of how his kiss felt yesterday.
“Yeah, really. Idofreak out sometimes. About things that matter at least.”