Lil’ K.
Caleb’s such an asshole, but I can’t help laughing as I make my way down the hallway.
He grins at me broadly as I hold the door open for him. “Hope I’m not interruptingsomething.” He waggles his eyebrows as he attempts to peer over my shoulder. I don’t know what he expects. A secret lover hightailing it out the window? I’m on the fourth floor. Not that it matters. I don’t have a secret lover, or any lover for that matter.
“Nope. Just…” I wave my hand awkwardly. “Just come in. I didn’t hear you at first.”
“Cool. Here.” He thrusts a box ofShreddiesagainst my chest, then winks at me as he toes off his boots. He’s newly shaved, his hair wild and windswept. He looks younger somehow, in a fitted gray tee instead of the button-up he wore for work.
“You’re such an asshole,” I say, clutching the box of cereal against my chest like it’s my most prized possession.
Caleb gasps in mock-horror. “What? You don’t like them anymore? Lil’ K grew out of his favorite cereal?” He reaches for the box like he wants to take it back, but I just shake my head, then walk toward the kitchen, where I place theShreddieson the small kitchen island.
“I can’t believe you remembered.” I pat the box and memories of mornings in my parents’ kitchen, scarfing down spoonfuls of crunchy cereal with ice-cold milk before school course through me.
Caleb taps his forehead. “Of course I remember. I remember everything. Photographic memory, baby.” A faint blush tints Caleb’s cheeks, beads of sweat coating his forehead. The day has been as hot as they come, and I changed into shorts the minute I came home. Caleb’s in a pair of worn jeans, a baseball cap crammed into one of his back pockets. I love caps. I have an entire collection myself. It’s become a thing between Emily and me, and she gives me a new one every year on August 12th, the anniversary of when I started taking testosterone.
“Consider it your housewarming present.”
“Wow! So generous!” I clutch my chest, and Caleb tips his head back and laughs, his neck corded and tanned. “You shouldn’t have. It’s too much, really.”
“Hey, those babies are pricey.” He drums the box with the tips of his fingers.
“So this is your way of telling me you’re not paying me overtime after all?Cheap,” I cough into my hand.
Caleb gapes at me, fire dancing in his granite eyes. “Since when did you become such a brat, K?”
I open my mouth to protest, but Caleb leans in, his face so close to mine, our noses nearly brush.
“It suits you.”
I swallow, taking in his face. For the first time in my life, perhaps, I can’t get a read on Caleb. Is he flirting with me, or is this just his usual teasing manner? I can’t tell, and after a few seconds, I’m the first to look away.
Caleb gazes around the kitchen. It’s pretty large for a two-bedroom apartment, but the entire building underwent recent renovations, and Dad was lucky enough to secure me one of the nicer ones.
Caleb whistles, “Nice. So where’s the bedroom?”
His question takes me by surprise. I’m not used to anyone asking where my bedroom is. I’ve never had a boyfriend, and in Boston, I never brought anyone to the apartment I shared with Emily.
Caleb waves a hand in front of me. “Hey, earth to Kayden. The lights? You needed lights in the bedroom, right?”
“Oh, right. Yeah. Follow me.” I lead Caleb down the hallway, past the door to the bathroom, toward my bedroom. Suddenly, I feel too aware of everything. How I move, how I look, what he thinks. My throat tightens, and the familiar heaviness in my chest builds. My body dysphoria is nowhere near as bad as it used to be, but I still experience the odd spell from time to time when I get caught in my head too much. My thoughts always circle around the same.Do I walk like a guy? Do I look like a guy? Do I sound like a guy? Can they tell?
My hand shakes as I open the door, but I don’t think Caleb notices my inner turmoil as he moves past me with a “Sweet! You have a fucking balcony, K!” He bolts toward the open French doors and the small balcony that overlooks the dog park across the street, and the beach to the right. And just like that, my anxiety evaporates. Caleb turns with a warm smile, his eyes wide and wondrous. “This place is amazing, Kayden. Just… Wow. I love that for you.”
“Thanks. I don’t know who Dad bribed to get it for me, but yeah…” I bury my hands in my pockets, looking around my unfinished bedroom. “It’ll be great once I’m done.”
“It will.” Caleb walks toward me and squeezes my shoulder briefly. “So, where do you need me?”
“Uhm.”
“The lights?” Caleb looks over my shoulder at some boxes. “Jeez, what’s up with you today? Are you having heatstroke or something?”
Or something.
I try to focus. “Nah, I’m good. Just my new boss running me too hard. A real drill sergeant.” I gesture at some boxes next to the bed, or the mattress, really. “They’re right over here. Maybe you can… you know, help me with the bedframe too. It arrived this afternoon.”
“Sure. Your wish is my command, K. Sorry about your new boss. Sounds like a real douche.”