“Not really.” Ryan sighed, leaning back into me. “I don’t want to leave.”
My throat tightened as I heard his unspoken words.I don’t want to return to reality. I don’t want to face this.
“Nothing has to change,” I said, resting my chin on his shoulder. “We can have this out there too. We can haveallof this. All you have to do is choose me.”
Ryan laughed bitterly, pulling out of my hold and turning to face me. “Of course things will change, Dom. I made a promise to someone. I’m in a committed relationship. For fuck’s sake, I’m days away from walking down the aisle.”
I took a step back, his words like a physical blow. “So you’re still going to marry her?”
“That’s not what I’m saying,” he said quickly, stepping forward. He reached out like he was going to grab me, but at the last moment he dropped his hand to his side. “But it’s not as simple as you make it out to be. Whatever I choose, someone is going to get hurt. I’m going to break someone’s heart.”
Fuck.I reached out to grab Ry’s shirt and hauled him into a bear hug. “I’m sorry, Shadow.”
“No you’re not,” he said, his frame stiff.
“I’m sorry that you’re upset. I’m sorry that you’re in this situation.”
“But you’re not sorry that you’re the one who put me here.”
“No.” I gave him a sheepish grin. “I’d do it again if it meant a life with you.”
Ry’s lips twitched. “You’re so fucked up.”
“I know.”
So was he. It was why he liked it so much. Now wasn’t the time to call him out on it though. He was right—what was coming wasn’t going to be easy. A storm was approaching, and I honestly had no idea where it was going to break.
We’d weather it when it did. That much I was certain of.
Ready to move away from heavier topics, I slid my hands down his back to palm his arse. “You know, there’s a couple of my fantasies we didn’t tick off.”
That predatory gleam I’d become so familiar with returned to Ryan’s eyes. “I didn’t realise we were working through a list.”
I spun us and started walking him backwards. “Well, we frotted against a wall. That was on there.”
Ryan’s eyes darkened as he realised what list I was referring to. “So it was.”
“As was blowjobs,” I said, nudging him nearer to our destination. “We did many of those.”
His lips curved in a cocky smirk. “Becausesomeoneis insatiable.”
Ry’s back hit the counter as I returned his smirk. “It’s not my fault I find the taste of you addictive.”
He shivered as I kissed down the side of his neck. “So which fantasy are we missing?”
There were two, actually. But the final one… I was saving that. For when I knew our future was certain. That I’d be waking up beside him for the rest of our lives.
But this one…this one was about fun.
“If you’re up for it,” I said, sliding my hands under his joggers and boxers to palm his arse, “I’d like to lift you onto this counter and fuck you until you lose the ability to speak.”
The tips of his ears flushed red. “You say the sweetest things.”
“Always.” I nipped at his jaw, drawing out another shiver. “So, what’s it going to be, Shadow?”
I wasn’t a fool. With the endless amounts of sex we’d had, I hadn’t failed to notice Ryan’s lack of asking me to top him. There had to be a reason. Maybe it was like my final fantasy. Maybe it was something he was saving for after. For when all obstacles had finally been removed.
To my surprise, Ryan grinned. “I think it’s going to be a much easier drive if I’ve been fucked senseless first.”