It felt so right.It feels so right.
My orgasm built, a tidal wave ready to crash over the shore. I refused to let it, needing Dom to fall first. “Come for me, love. Let me hear you.”
Maybe he’d been waiting for my permission, or maybe just hearing it was enough to push him over the edge.Whatever it was, it had him tightening around me like a vice as he murmured my name against my lips.
“Shadow, Ry, Shadow, Ry, Ry, Ry, Ry.”
My hips bucked as I came. “Dom… Oh god, I love you. I love you.”
The words didn’t register. I was too lost in the haze of pleasure. It was only when Dom spoke, after I’d collapsed on him and let him hold me, that I realised what I’d said.
He kissed my temple. “I love you too, Ry. So fucking much.”
I didn’t respond. How could I, when I’d just crossed not one line, but two?
I’d not only slept with my ex, I’d confessed my true feelings.
I sat with that for a moment, waiting for the guilt. When it came, it wasn’t as strong as I’d thought it would be. Nor was it holding hands with the usual regret.
If anything, I felt more guilty about what was to follow. The decision I was going to have to make. I’d always sworn I wouldn’t be a man who broke his promises. That I’d see my decisions through to the bitter end.
By doing that, I’d be protecting Kate. She wouldn’t be heartbroken or hurt.
But Dom would be.
Either choice was going to devastate someone.
Both were going to devastate me.
25
Dominic
I finally understood what people meant about being caught between heaven and hell.
The past week with Ry had been everything I’d dreamed of. Lazy mornings filled with pleasure. Afternoons of laughter where we morphed into younger versions of ourselves. Where I posed for my Shadow while he memorialised each different position. Late night talks where we bared our souls.
But every touch was tinged with pain. Every smile filled with doubt. Because, try as I might, I couldn’t escape the truth. The reality that, once we stepped outside this cabin today, I didn’t know what was going to happen. Who my Shadow would choose.
I was arrogant enough to hope it would be me, but not completely confident. I’d caught Ry staring off into space more times than I could count, rhythmically stroking the scruff on his jaw. The stubble that had given me lingering burns on my inner thighs.
I knew he was struggling. I’d put him in a situation he’d been desperately trying to avoid. One that had himcompromising his ethics and morals. Of course he was brooding on it.
Honestly, he wouldn’t be Ryan if he wasn’t. My Shadow had always been a better person than me. It was probably why I’d felt no shame about this whole plan. I wasn’t a good person. My love for Ry had led me along this path, and there was no amount of guilt that could make me deviate from it now. The only thing bothering me was that Ryan was upset.
I wanted to fix it. I wanted him always happy.
But I also wanted him with me.
I wished the two would coexist easier.
This will work out in the long run,I told myself firmly as I watched Ryan stare out of the window again.It’ll all be worth it. He won’t be happy if he marries her.
He wouldn’t. This week had cemented that. The way he was with me…that was true happiness.
I just fucking hoped he realised it in time.
Joining him at the window, I slid my arms around his waist from behind. “You okay?”