It was when we got back from that run that Mara went to Angel in a panic, telling him the women who had helped her and Bex, was in trouble. She had been arrested a few days ago on false charges. Angel finally got in touch with her business partner Ava and offered our help in any way Remi needed.
So that was why less than a day after getting back to the clubhouse, Axel, Cypher, and I were on our way to pick up Remi Carter, with the offer to provide her shelter until everything cleared over. I wasnervous about how she would react when we met, how much Bex told her about me, and if she would be able to give me any more information about where my wife might be.
We were told to play it up and act like she was a part of the club. What I wasn’t prepared for was how much she would remind me of Bex. Similar build and hair. Where Remi’s eyes were hazel, Bex was a clear blue. But it was what their eyes told you that felt so familiar. She was young. similar in age to my wife, but they both held so much depth and maturity in the way they carried themselves, so much swirling in their eyes that you just knew they had seen more in their short lives than most everyone should.
I masked my shock as I jumped off my bike and walked right for her. Playing the roll Angel had told me I had been requested to play.
“There she is,” I laid it on thick for anyone who could be watching. “You gonna stay outta trouble now, baby cakes? Be a good girl for your man?”
Remi blinked at me with a wide eyed confused look that made me mask a laugh with a grin. I felt all kinds of eyes on me, but I was here for the women who was there for Bex when I wasn’t.
Remi started to move, stepping down the stairs, I met her wrapping my arm around her waist, tugging her into a hug so that only she would hear me.
“Play with me Remi, Mara sent us to make sure you are safe. I am going to tuck your face into my hands so it looks like you are mine, ok.”
She relaxed into me, and gave me a subtle nod. So I cupped her cheek and tucked my head down just enough that from any other angle it would look like we were locked in a kiss.
Then I leaned back just enough for everyone to hear, “Ready to get on the back of my bike, baby?”
Remi stared at me for a beat and softly said, “I thought that was supposed to mean something.”
It does. It means so much.
I masked my grief with a grin and answered her as honestly as I could. “If my ol’ lady was still around, she wouldn’t mind… not for you.”
Remi went still, something that looked like she was debating between fight or flight. So I leaned in again, I dropped the mask, let her see my grief, regret and appreciation for what she had done for Bex. In a voice low enough that only those closest to us could hear, I told her my truth, “I screwed up, darling, bad. I did her wrong. Broke us. Broke her. You were the one who put her back together. She left and I was pissed for a minute, but then I got my head outta my ass and realized… You did something I never did. You put her first.”
Remi’s eyes glassed over, like she was holding back tears.
I kept going, trying to keep my own tears back as best I could, “I’m still holding onto hope she’ll come back. Claim her spot with me. But until then, she’d be good with this. With you.”
I closed my eyes for a moment, to try and get back into the character I needed to play to keep her safe. When I opened them I gave her a smile and asked, “So… what do you say, Remi? Shall we put on a show?”
She still looked unsure, but we needed to get moving and I had to make this look real.
Bex forgive me, baby.
I pulled back twisting, so I could give her ass a smack to get her moving and make us look comfortable together. Then before she could react, I turned back to my bike, mounting it while she followed, a stunned look on her face.
I took a deep breath and then handed her Bex’s helmet, trying to keep the shake out of my hand, before moving to adjust the strap. No women had ever been on the back of my bike or worn that helmet but Bex. As I secured the strap, I noticed a bruise along her jaw and saw red. I didn’t protect my wife when I should have. I failed her, but I had the opportunity to be here now for the women who took her in and made sure she was safe. Even if it meant she was keeping her from me.
I brushed my thumb softly across the bruise on her jaw, and said, "I will keep you safe."
Guilt hit me hard, but I couldn’t change my past. Icoulddo better now.
I swallowed down the discomfort of having anyone else on the back of my bike and said, “Trust me. Hold tight. Move with my body.”
Remi nodded, eyes wide and vulnerable, as she climbed on behind me.
Without another word I started up the bike, motioned for Axel to take the lead and drove away from the precinct, with Cypher on our tail.
Remi spent 5 days at the clubhouse and I don’t know of a single person who didn’t take advantage of her being in our care. Remi instantly gravitated to Marisol and it didn’t take her long to get her talking and even recommend someone for her to talk to that was closer to the clubhouse. Four spent a lot of time talking to her, I wasn’t sure if it was for him or for Cal, but he seemed calmer than he had in months.
It was the fourth night she was there, when we were sitting out by a fire on an unseasonably warm night. She wanted something sweet and Dani suggested smores. She had asked me to tell her more about my Ol’ Lady. I was surprised that she didn’t know who I was, maybe Bex hadn’t told her about me, about us. So I started to talk, tell her about what I had done, what I had allowed.
Remi was far too quiet and when I turned to look at her she had a sad look on her face, she swallowed hard and asked, "You're Declan?”
I don't know why hearing my name like that caused such a reaction, but a tear slipped free and all I could do was nod.