One of the skull things pinged off the roof and rolled down the windshield. This one was white with orange highlights. It was the skull of a goblin. The teeth were painted in alternating colors. A dozen little purple tentacles reached out from the interior, leaving a slime trail. The slime hovered a good inch off the windshield. The invulnerability shield had already activated.
Each tentacle had a little barb on the end. Next to us, the Draconian shouted, but it seemed he, too, was protected. Still, one of the sugar skulls had attached itself to his head. This was a bigger skull, like that of an ogre. The tentacles wrapped around the neck of the Draconian, giving him a bizarre appearance. It appeared the creature was trying to rip the mercenary’s head off, but it gave up after a second and rolled away.
Despite being protected, the Draconian started shouting in panic. He went to his hands and knees and started banging on the roof of the APV to be let inside.
“Holy shit,” I said as I examined one of the skulls.
Female Sugar Hermit. Level 11.
These horrific little terrors feed off of two things. Brains and bones. And they areexpertsat extracting both.
They wear skulls like a snail wears a shell. They are agile, and they are fast.
Still, I thought they were kinda boring-looking, so I gussied them up. Yeah, yeah, cultural appropriation, this and that. Suck it. They look freakin’ badass!
The sugar hermits you see today are all female, and they are migrating. They’re migrating toward the kaiju skull that blocks the finish line. Why? Because I fucking said so. They’ll lay their eggs in it or some shit. It doesn’t matter. Hopefully they won’t get in your way. Or, worse, get their little tentacles wrapped around that prime real estate y’all are carrying around on your shoulders.
The good news is this race is only twenty minutes long.
“Yeeeaaa-fucking-haw!” Gluteus shouted.
[ 31 ]
Luca Di.Crawler #10,284,471.
Race: Human.
Class: Pastamancer.
Final Level: 62.
You probably don’t remember me, Princess, but I was one of the ones to give you my train hat on the fourth floor. You not only saved my life, but you saved the life of my mother, Giulia DiMarco, as well.
My mother and I never got along growing up. When she started to suffer from dementia, we placed her in a home. Guilt finally got the best of me, and I went to visit her on that day.
I felt as if I needed closure for all the terrible things she had done and said as I was growing up. I never got the chance, as we found ourselves in the dungeon soon after I’d wheeled her outside.
I protected her until we got to the third floor, where she took the only race that would save her mind, a Benevento, which is basically an elf-like witch creature. I don’t know if you remember her, but she said you were beautiful.
With her mind repaired, I finally found the closure I was seeking.
I know you don’t know what I’m talking about. Maybe one day, when all this is done, I can tell you the full story of myself and my mother. For now, I just want you to know I was able to talk to her again. I was able to tell her how I truly felt about some of the things she had done, and she was able to tell me some of why she was the way she was.
As terrible as this place is, I found forgiveness in the dungeon, and I found a peace I never would have been able to find if I’d simply unloaded my feelings on a dying woman who could no longer understand me.
My mother fell during the bubble level. But I will forever cherish those last few days I had with her.
And it’s because of you and Carl that I got that.
I can’t imagine what toll thatWar Crimespell took on you. But I want you to know it’s okay to forgive yourself. Sometimes there are no good choices, and we just do what we have to.
You saved me, and by saving me, you also saved the memory of my mother and all those I have loved, and for that, I love you, Princess Donut. Even though you don’t know me, I love you with all I have.
Keep up the good fight, and should you fall, I want you to know you will never be forgotten.
Drawing: A bent tube of pasta.