“Fatty,” Donut muttered as she came walking up. “Carl, as soon as the next race starts, I’m going to set them on fire.”
I watched the light of team Sparkles disappear into the darkness.
“No arguments here,” I said.
It was slow going to get the trailer attached and then the van affixed to the flatbed. Between the three of us, and with Donut “helping,” we were able to turn it upright and lift it onto the bed. And then it took a few minutes for me to properly position everything. I had to put Rend away.
Like I suspected, there was no trailer hitch at the back of the truck, but there was a step for the back door that was welded on pretty well, and we used a few lengths of chains to attach it all.
There was no sign of the missing teams, and I assumed they were all ahead of us, meaning we would be in third-to-last place, and the bugbears would be in second-to-last.
Despite what the rules said, it seemed the two bugbears could ride in the truck with us. They just had to be in their van when we crossed the finish line. We decided to keep Radoslav in thefood truck, but in the very back with the door open, keeping an eye on the crappy trailer, while Jasha remained in the van.
I’d asked them if they wanted me to store the body of their dead friend, but they just dumped her body into the water. I was taken aback, but after mentioning it to Mordecai, he said it was a bugbear thing. They believed it was weak to fret over the corpses of their fallen friends and family. They’d oftentimes eat them. Or just leave them where they’d fallen. They’d still honor and mourn their dead, but that was never tied to the bodies themselves.
We moved slowly through the tunnels, coming across the corpses of multiple manatees, which had all been killed in the same way. They were literally ripped in half. I finally stopped the truck long enough to examine one.
Corpse of Miss Brianna Kim. Level 90 Screeching Death Manatee. Killed by evisceration by mount Old Shuck from the Jugglers.
As we drove, slowly moving our way through the cave, Donut moved to the back of the truck and struck up a conversation with Radoslav.
“So, your story on this floor is that you’re musicians? Carl can play the bagpipes, and I am a singer of some renown. Perhaps we can put on a performance once we get to this town.”
Radoslav grunted. “I am supposed to be a musician, and I think I know how to play my pan flute, but I’ve never picked it up. I am the pan flute, Alevtina was bongos and tambourine, and Jasha sings and plays violin.”
Donut gasped. “Carl, do you think if we give Mongo a tambourine, he will—” She stopped dead. She went so silent, I turned all the way around in my seat to make sure she was okay.
“Donut?” I asked.
“I just got a strange notification,” she said after a minute. “It says the people have voted for Otto the slime guy to be the manatee ‘stand-in’ in the arena.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“That’s all it says.”
I sent out a mass message, asking if anyone else had seen this yet.
I received a couple answers that people had just started receiving similar messages. In one case, a crawler named Ajib I’d first met on the fifth floor said he’d also picked the let-the-audience-vote choice for his mob, but it said they’d voted to transfer the monster to the “arena.” Mordecai said he had no idea what any of that meant, either.
Elle: Anyone else have to do this fan meet-’n’-greet bullshit?
Donut: OMG, YOU GET TO DO A FAN MEET AND GREET?
Elle: Apparently, but it’s this huge room, and there’s just one guy in here. It’s just like the Butcher’s Masquerade. I have to wear a damn name tag.
Donut: ZEV, DO I GET TO DO THE MEET AND GREET?
Zev: Well... no. So, the meet-and-greet program was set up a while ago for this floor just in case anybody made it this far, and we pretty much sold out immediately. It was set up so viewers could come to the planet and watch the end of the races from the stands, and after each race, there’s a reception and they could spend some time meeting their favorite crawler. But then everything, uh, happened. The quarantine is still in place. You can still come to the Earth system no problem, but once you’re here, you can’t leave. So all five hundred fans who signed up for the meet-and-greet package canceled. All except one guy. A soother. He’s a fan of Elle. Let’s say a superfan. He came despite the quarantine. They say he couldn’t even get anyone to fly him in, so he bought his own yacht just to come and meet her.
Donut: OMG, THAT IS KIND OF ADORABLE. ELLE, TELL YOUR FAN I SAID HI.
Elle: This creepy motherfucker is wearing a shirt with a cartoon naked picture of me on it. I’m not getting anywhere near this pervert. He’s just standing there blushing. If they didn’t have safe room rules in here, I’d have iced him already.
We finally exited the cave, and a pair of dots emerged on the GPS just as multiple colorful lights appeared in the distance. The dots were labeledHungry Eyes VillageandFinish Line.
“Would you look at that?” I said as the town came into view. But Donut wasn’t paying attention as she was now fully invested in Elle’s continuing commentary on her awkward fan meetup.
Elle: Oh god, he wants me to sign some giant pillow thing that has me on it. They didn’t even get my anatomy right. My nipples arenotblue.