Page 215 of Beautiful Terror

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She doesn’t deserve any of this.

He’s draining her dry—emotionally, spiritually, financially and physically.

He’s giving her nothing but pain, and gaslighting her into thinking it’s her fault.

Alice:

So why don’t you extend the same courtesy to yourself?

Me:

I don’t know. I feel like I owe the world something.

Like I’ve never been good enough.

Like everyone else has always had it together more than me.

Like I’ve been judged and been found wanting.

Alice:

You know that’s not fair. Imagine if you heard that being said about your friend.

Me:

All my friends have it together more than I do.

Alice:

Are you fucking kidding me, Margaux? You’re amazing.

And nobody has it together.

If it looks like they do, it’s make-believe.

Just like your posts which are always so aspirational and inspiring and make it look like you live the perfect life.

Me:

But I don’t.

Alice:

That’s exactly the fucking point, idiot.

Me:

Gee, thanks.

Alice:

Lol, I mean it in the nicest of ways. But you’ve really got to stop being so hard on yourself. We’re all just advanced monkeys, after all.

Me:

I’m pretty cute for an advanced monkey, I suppose.

Alice: