You’re fucking adorable. So get your head out of your advanced monkey ass and believe in yourself as much as you believe in your friends.
We’re all depending on you.
And you don’t owe us shit, but it would be appreciated.
I smile through my tears.
Me:
I’ll try.
Alice:
That’s the most we can ask for.
I love you, Margaux. I hope you know that.
Me:
I love you, too. Thank you for this.
Alice:
Any time.
CHAPTER 83
A WAR WITHIN
MARGAUX
The pain is excruciating.
Each month, my period is becoming more and more debilitating.
I know I have endometriosis, but it’s either spreading, or there’s something more to it.
I can barely move, yet I’m forced to keep shifting, desperately seeking any position that might provide some relief.
Bending my knee into my abdomen gives temporary respite, the pressure dulling the knives stabbing at me from within. But then that starts to hurt, so I curl into the fetal position.
Ice packs alternate with a heating pad, their opposing temperatures offering brief reprieves, but nothing lasts.
Even the thought of food triggers my gag reflex, and every few minutes I dry heave. Sitting up makes me throw up. Even sips of water betray me.
I finally retreat to the back room, collapsing onto the mattress and, miraculously, falling asleep.
When I wake, Timmy is gone.
Hours later, he returns, reeking of cigarette smoke.
“You threw up because you were drinking yesterday!” he yells, his tone accusing, as though preemptively justifying his unexplained absence. “This is self-inflicted, and you’re blaming it on your period!”
“This has nothing to do with drinking, Timmy,” I reply, my voice weary but steady. “I didn’t even drink yesterday. I have a medical condition that causes excruciating pain every month. The issue isn’t me—it’s that I woke up, and you weren’t here. And you’ve clearly been down at the tents again, smoking with people.”
He shrugs dismissively. “Well, you were asleep, and I was bored.”
I blink, incredulous. “So I finally manage to nap through the pain, and you decide to go do something you know would upset me? While I’m already suffering?”