I blink.Were we not at the same event? Did he not paddle out and brag about eating Darren’s ashes?
“That’s not true,” I respond, with Phil still listening. “We were there for hours, you caught up with a lot of people, you participated in the paddle-out, and you picked out some of Darren’s things to keep.”
“You made me leave all my things back there!”he shrieks.“The surfboard. The hammock.”
“Please stop yelling!” I plead.
“She was so jealous, Dad!” he screams.“She was jealous because she saw me hug two girls.”
“No,” I reply. “I was upset because you failed to stick to the boundaries we agreed to for the day. I’ve had to prepare myself for months leading up to this event due to worry about how you’d behave—it’s caused huge anxiety, and now you’re acting the way I feared. I didn’t want you to do drugs and die, and I didn’t want you to run away. You promised we’d stick together all day, but you left me after about five minutes. I knew nobody there except for Matty and Steve, and you know how I feel aboutthem. So I tried to be there for you, but I have to protect myself as well.”
“Well,” Phil sighs, judgment dripping from his tone, “it sounds like you really upset him, Margaux.”
“What are you talking about?” I’m so angry at Phil right now. It’s as if he just turned on me and jumped to Timmy’s defense, automatically believing his completely fabricated version ofevents. “He was upset because his friend died, and he didn’t follow through on how he promised he’d behave.”
His dad’s tone is sharp once again. “Well, his frienddied,so you kind of have to give him a break, Margaux.”
“This is insane,” I mutter, feeling chastised. “I was just calling to see if you could get him to calm down so we don’t crash the truck.”
“Son,” Phil sighs. “Calm down. Call me when you get home.”
Timmy mutters something unintelligible, and I hang up the phone.
When we finally get home, the screaming continues. I secretly call Alice, letting her listen to his tirade. After about a minute, I hang up. She’s heard enough.
Alice:
That man is going to kill you one day.
Me:
His dad said I must have done something to upset him.
Alice:
Nope.
Toxic.
Gross.
Me:
He’s been relatively good, and I’ve been worrying about this memorial. I get it’s an anomaly, an outlier event, that one of his good friends died—even though they were estranged at the time. It’s been this looming date.
Alice:
What happens with the next big event?
And the next?
Me:
Yeah, I know.
I said that to him. It’s like, ‘Oh well, now you’re not going mental over a TV show or a music choice, so that’s progress.’
And good friends don’t die each and every day, but stuff still happens and you can’t act like that.