Alice:
Exactly.
What’d he say?
Me:
I don’t think he was in a position to receive the message.
Alice:
I don’t think he ever will be.
Me:
He’s calmer now, and made me a coffee.
I’m finishing my book edits and about to send out my ARCs.
So I’ll worry about him later.
Spoiler alert: you are in my acknowledgements.
Alice:
OMG THAT IS THE BEST CREDIT EVER.
In the days that follow, Timmy’s narrative about the memorial changes at his convenience.
Sometimes, he says he stayed as long as he wanted and that he should have done better about keeping me by his side.
Other times, he claims I dragged him away at the very start out of jealousy, ruining everything before he even had a chance to say goodbye. That I had a problem because he briefly hugged Darren’s ex and was looking at her baby.
“Which is it, Timmy?” I ask in exasperation. “Which version is true?”
He smirks. “Depends on who I’m talking to and how I’m feeling.”
Wow. He’s not even trying to hide who he really is anymore.
CHAPTER 79
ZOLOFT FUGUE
MARGAUX
With my insurancefinallysorted out, I manage to see a doctor at the local health center. Stepping into the brightly lit waiting room, I feel a mix of relief and trepidation. The sterile smell, the hum of the HVAC, and the low murmur of conversations remind me that I’m here to make progress—to take back some control.
The doctor is like a breath of fresh air. She’s professional but warm, her gentle manner somehow disarming the wall I’ve built around myself.
I’m honest with her. I explain my situation—the abusive relationship, the emotional rollercoaster, the overwhelming stress. The crippling pain that debilitates me for at least two days every month. It tumbles out of me like a confession.
She listens without judgment, nodding thoughtfully. “Let’s get you some help,” she says. “I’ll prescribe you an antidepressant to take the edge off. And I’m also going to refer you to therapy.”
I nod, already feeling a little lighter.
“And since you mentioned your physical health, I’ll refer you to a gynecologist as well. You shouldn’t have to live with that kind of pain every month.”
Her practicality is comforting. She’s addressing the things I’ve ignored for far too long.