“I promise I won’t run off at the memorial,” he’s told me repeatedly, his tone earnest. “I’ll keep you by my side, introduce you to everyone. You’ll see.”
His words have done little to ease my fears, but at least they’ve provided a sliver of reassurance that he understands my concerns.
When we arrive at the memorial, that promise is shattered almost immediately.
At first, Timmy keeps me close, introducing me to a handful of people—some I’ve heard about, others completely new. But his attention quickly shifts, and soon he’s darting around like a restless show pony, unable to sit still or focus. I’m left standing awkwardly on the periphery, struggling to keep up as he flits from one conversation to the next.
When the paddle-out begins, there’s a brief calm. I watch as Timmy and a group of surfers solemnly paddle out with Darren’s ashes, their boards cutting through the gentle waves. It’s a rare moment of somber reflection. But as soon as he returns, the calm is gone.
“We ate him!”he says, his voice a mix of glee and disbelief. “Some of usate Darrenwhile we were out there!”
I stare at him, unsure how to respond. My lips press into a tight line, and I nod slowly. Everyone grieves in their own way, I suppose.
Afterward, he sifts through Darren’s belongings—clothes, photos, personal trinkets—and gets visibly emotional. He picks out a hot sauce T-shirt he says Darren loved as well as a couple of other clothing items, cradling them in his arms with reverence.
But then he notices there’s no photo of the two of them together in the bowl of photographs. “Oh wow,” he laments, his voice tinged with bitterness. “So there’s a photo in here of him andMatty, but not one withme?”He becomes quite upset over the omission and keeps mentioning it.
But his emotions—real or exaggerated—don’t tether him for long. Soon, he’s back to gallivanting around, loudly proclaiming himself Darren’s closest friend to anyone who will listen.
At one point, I spot him talking to a woman holding a baby. I’m pretty sure it’s Darren’s ex, but I’m not certain. At first, it seems fine—a friendly exchange, a hug. But then he lingers. He whispers to her, leaning in too close, too long. He clings to her like she’s the last lifeboat on a sinking ship.
Standing with strangers, I feel an unbearable wave of embarrassment and discomfort.
“Is it just me, or is he being weird with her?” I ask the girl next to me, who has also been watching him.
She raises an eyebrow. “He sure runs up to you anytime you’re talking to a guy,” she says. “Seems pretty hypocritical of him to be doing… whateverthatis.”
Her words are the breaking point. “Fuck this,” I mutter, and I turn on my heel and head for the car.
Timmy notices my departure and sprints after me. “Wait! What’s happening?”
“You said we’d stick together,” I say, my voice shaking with frustration. “I’ve tried so hard to be supportive, but you’ve leftme by myself for ages. You promised me you wouldn’t do that. You’re acting erratic and I’m concerned. I need to leave. I don’t feel comfortable here anymore.”
He hops in the truck beside me, and for a brief moment after we head out, there’s silence. But it doesn’t last.
“Youuuuuruined this,” he growls, his teeth bared in anger. His bottom jaw juts out aggressively, his lower teeth giving full-blown llama, a sure sign that his fury is reaching its peak. “I knew you’d ruin Darren’s memorial!”
I grip the steering wheel tightly, trying to keep my focus on the road as his tirade escalates. “I didn’t ruin anything, Timmy,” I snap. “You were acting erratic and drunk, and you promised we’d stick together. But you left me alone for hours, and you were behaving in ways that drew attention from other people. I was worried about what you were going to do next.”
“You justhadto ruin Darren’s memorial! I knew I couldn’t trust you to be there for me.You embarrassed me so much!”he screams, his voice echoing in the cab. “Everyone noticed when we left! You made me look like anidiot!”
“Nobody noticed,” I lie, desperate to calm him down.
He continues to scream, his aggression echoing from the truck’s walls.
I hold myself as still as I can, trying to focus on the road.
I use one shaky hand to call his dad. “Please help!” I beg. “He won’t stop screaming. I’m driving down the freeway and it’s dangerous. Please ask him to calm down so he doesn’t cause an accident!”
His dad’s voice, sharp and cutting, comes through the speaker. “Well, Margaux, you must have done something to upset him.”
I’m livid, and a little shocked. “I called you to help calm him down so we don’t crash the car,” I say through gritted teeth.
“She wasjealous!”he yells into the phone. “She saw me hug Darren’s ex andlost her mind!”
His dad’s tone softens for Timmy. “Son, just calm down, okay? Get home safely.”
“She made us leave right at the beginning!”he screams.“I didn’t even get to say hello to anyone!”