Page 18 of Beautiful Terror

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Again I know I don't know your life story, but between the 2 of us, I'm the yeller.

Like I do not have an ‘indoor voice’ half the time, so yelling is expected.

Me:

I am actually slightly tickled that I got written up by my apartment building for yelling.

Bc I have a voice now.

Alice:

I can get that! It's fun to learn something about yourself.

Me:

It’s also annoying bc he was yelling for ages before, but I guess lower octaves don’t disturb the neighbors. And also I yelled later in the evening than he did, bc I was getting more and more annoyed over the course of the evening, lol.

Alice:

Okay, that's just stupid and annoying.

Me:

You know women get that brunt…

Alice:

Oh absolutely. I was also going to guess they also probably were offended by a GIRL YELL.

Me:

Yeah, girls are not allowed to yell.

Or roller skate and smash people in the face.

Alice:

I feel like we just didn't get that memo.

I dunno. Misogyny strikes again!

I send her a picture of the beachfront view from my apartment, with Sabre looking out at the waves.

The view is stunning, but it feels like a cruel joke—beauty outside, chaos within.

Alice:

I hate you right now.

Me:

Nah, you love me.

Alice:

It’s true, bluff called.

I laugh, the kind of laughter that feels like salve on a wound. It doesn’t erase the pain, but it dulls it for a moment.