Caroline opened the door, her eyes widening when she saw it was me and not Saga.
I held up my arms, showing off my olive branch. “Delivery.”
Her lips twitched, and she stepped back to let me into the room. “Sebastian told me you were going to the store. I didn’t mean to trouble you.”
I dumped the haul onto the couch cushions, careful not to crush her flowers. “First and foremost, you arenevera trouble to me. And second, don’t call Saga that. Even if he asked you to. He’s ‘Saga’ to you.” I hated hearing his birth name on her lips. It sounded too intimate, too personal.
I didn’t give her time to respond before I held up the flowers. It was a mixture of red and purple anthuriums, red mokara orchids, and foliage. I did not know this prior to reading the card that came with them. “I owe you an apology.”
Caroline stepped forward cautiously. She accepted the flowers, pulling them into her chest. Eyeing the numerous canvas bags behind me, she quipped, “So you bought out a grocery store?”
“I didn’t want to run the risk of not getting something you needed.” Which reminded me of the other stop I’d made on my way back. I pulled the phone from my back pocket. “I know you said you didn’t want a phone, but I should have insisted anyway. You need a way to reach me.”
Lifting her head from sniffing the flowers, Caroline stared down at my next offering. “Before a couple of days ago, I didn’t have to worry about reaching you. You were always there.”
My eyes flicked to the chair beside the door that hadn’t been there before. It looked like one from downstairs. Guilt squeezed my heart at the knowledge that she’d been barricading the door in my absence.
I stepped forward. Grabbing her wrist, I put the phone into her palm. “I willalwaysbe here, but that doesn’t mean we are always going to be together. You should have had this from the beginning in case you needed something, like today.”
Her cheeks flamed under her sprinkling of freckles. She opened her mouth, but I stopped her from what I could only assume was an apology.
“Neverapologize for asking me for something you need. I don’t give a fuck if it’s dumplings from China that you’re having a craving for. I will hop on a plane and get them for you.”
Her smile finally reached her eyes. “I’ve never had dumplings from China.”
Fuck. Now I was going to have to start researching the best ones and plane tickets. I had some clients in China who might be able to help.
Realizing I still held her wrist, I stepped back. “I wasn’t sure what you needed so I got a variety.”
“Thank you,” she murmured, clearly embarrassed. “Lu helped me last month, but I didn’t think about going swimming and I was still sore—” Caroline’s eyes widened as she clamped her mouth shut.
Rage shook my body. But not at her. I stepped forward, slowly at first. Opening my arms, I stopped just before her, letting her take that final step.
She rushed into my arms so fast that I feared she bruised herself. Her grip was tight and she buried her face into my chest. I dropped myself over her, my body creating a physical shield between her and the world, and rested my cheek against her hair. My shirt was thin enough that I felt her tears soak it almost immediately. Her little hands gripped my cut at my back, tightening it over my shoulders. She smelled divine, some vanilla and honey mixture.
Lucifer had not pressed his inquiry at the store, but that didn’tkeep it from my mind. Who else knew? Who else saw and suspected?
Did Caroline?
I should step away from her. There was absolutely no excuse to be holding her like this. It didn’t matter if it was what she needed. It was still wrong. But there was no denying how good, howright, she felt against me.
And really, what difference did another seven months make?
“Fuck!” I ripped myself away from her, easily breaking her grip on me. I could not be thinking such things! I’d never allowed myself to. Not an acknowledgement of her birthday or a countdown to the end of the year. Because that would lead to me thinking the exact question I’d just thought!
I ran my hand through my hair in frustration. “Coming back here was a mistake. My number is programmed into your phone. If you need something, let me know. But I can’t be here right now.”
Caroline stepped between me and the door. “Don’t go! Please!”
I stopped so I didn’t collide into her. “Caroline…” My voice was a warning.
“I’m scared,” she confessed, and it felt like the floor went out from under me.
My heart hammered in my chest. “Of me?” I didn’t want to know, but I had to. If it wasn’t me, then who? Saga?
She closed her eyes, tears streaming out the corners and down her cheeks. “Of what you’ll think of me when I tell you everything.”
Not of me, but what I would thinkof her? I stepped forward cautiously, not wanting to startle her when her eyes were closed. Gently, I took her face between my hands, wiping the pads of my thumbs under her eyes to brush away her tears.