Lucifer put a hand on my arm. He had a calming personality, and I did respect him. I might not believe in his god, but I liked that he never tried to convert any of us. I met Lu’smakuahine, mom, once, and within three minutes of our introduction, she was trying to get me to declare Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.
“Caroline needs tampons,” he told me evenly.
I blinked. And blinked again. I knew what a tampon was—of course I did—but that didn’t mean I knew brands or types or flows or flavors or any other options that they came in. And I suddenly understood why Aloiki got pissy with Saga for asking Lu. It wasn’t rational in the slightest, nor was there anything shameful about Caroline needing the hygiene product, but if she needed something so personal, it was going to come fromme.
My hand shot out and I grabbed Saga around the throat, dragging his face before mine. “I will go get what she needs. Take Samantha to go see the horses or bring her upstairs to watch a movie. I don’t give a fuck so long as Caroline doesn’t have to be responsible for her.”
Women were in pain on their periods, right? That was a thing. Kalea never let me near her or wanted me around her when she was on her period. I tried to help, but she was always so embarrassed that I ended up just leaving the house so she could have some peace and quiet. I was a husband. Ishouldknow how to help a woman through her period, but I didn’t.
Chocolate. I did remember that Kalea liked chocolate when she was on her period. It had been a dark, sea salt brand. I’d have to go look for that too.
Pushing Saga away, I rounded on Lucifer and Tick, our Treasurer. “Why the fuck were you laughing when I walked up? Were you laughing at her pain?”
I didn’t give a fuck if Lucifer was a Man of God. I’d kill him right alongside Tick, if that was the case. At least Saga had beentryingto help her.
The look Lucifer gave me reminded me of a parent scolding a child. “Of course not. We were laughing at Saga’s reaction, not at Caroline.” His voice was soothing, and I felt slightly guilty for my accusation against him. “I help some of the teenage girls at thecenter when they first get their periods. Do you want me to come with you to the store?”
From the tone of his voice, I got the impression he’d made the same offer to Saga. I nodded once. “Mahalo.” To Tick, I said, “You’re coming too. I don’t know how much stuff we’ll need or if it’ll fit in our saddlebags.”
There was an entire aisle—awhole fuckingaisle—dedicated to feminine hygiene products. Holy fucking hell. I was going to need a bigger cart.
Did that say vaginal deodorant? I grabbed three different scents just in case.
I had to hand it to Lucifer. He certainly knew his stuff. He walked calmly down the aisle like he’d been here a thousand times and knew exactly what to look for.
As he put a box of multi-pack tampons into the cart, I asked, “Is that enough?” The box said it had seventy-two tampons between the different flow sizes. I turned my phone around to show Lucifer the website I had pulled up. “My ex was on hers for five-ish days, but this says it can last two to seven days.”
Lucifer shook his head. “That’s plenty, trust me. We should grab her some pads too, in case she only wanted the tampons to go swimming.” He headed over to a different section. “Can I ask? What did she do last month? She’s been here long enough that I wouldn’t think this is her first period since coming home with you.”
Honestly, I had no idea. I shrugged. “The doctor gave her a clean bill of health. Lu took her shopping for bras. Maybe she grabbed some stuff then.”
If Caroline had been on her period last month, I hadn’tnoticed. She was so proper and closed off about things that I doubted it was something she would have mentioned.
“Good chance, but in my experience, there’s no such thing as too many. Accidents happen, and now we have three women living with us.” He grabbed two different types of pads. One had a sun and one had a moon on the box, so I hazarded a guess as to why there were two different kinds.
“Lu’s pregnant,” I murmured, looking down at my phone. I hated feeling so inadequate. If Kalea hadn’t been so private about these things, I would have known what to do for Caroline.
“She won’t always be,” he reminded me. Staying at the side of the cart, he put his hands behind his back. “I’m going to ask you a question, and we’re in a public place with security cameras, so do try to mind your temper when I do.” I didn’t get a chance to react or tell him that I didn’t give a fuck about cameras or the public before he asked his question. “You have feelings for Caroline, don’t you?”
And suddenly his preface made sense. My eyes narrowed on him and my grip on my phone tightened. “Why the fuck would you ask me something like that? She’s fucking seventeen, you sick fuck!”
Lucifer raised an eyebrow, but did not back down. “I’m not blind. I see the way you look at her—or trynotto look at her—and I am aware of how old she is. Still doesn’t change my question.”
“She’s fuckingseventeen!” I might end up killing a Man of God today anyway. All the good favor he’d earned from me just vanished in the blink of an eye.
“Did I accuse you of sleeping with her or doing anything inappropriate with her?” Lucifer asked. Why was he so fucking calm? It was driving me nuts. “I asked if you had feelings for her. I see how tightly wound you are, Tangaloa. I see the battle raging inside you. I see the strength it takes you to keep your distance from her. I am not encouraging your actions one way or the other, but I dobelieveacknowledging themwill go a long way into easing your burden. I’m not saying to shout them from the rooftop or to hire a sky writer. You can stand in front of a mirror or you can speak to someone like me. But it will help, I promise you.”
I stood there frozen. I didn’t know what to say. Even forming the words felt worthy of a firing squad.
Tick came rushing down the aisle then, disrupting Lucifer’s and my intense eye contact. “Shoots! I think I got everything you wanted. The heating pad, the bubble bath,Midol… I didn’t know which brand of dark chocolate with sea salt, so I grabbed a variety. Also found this lower back massager. Lady I talked to said it can help with cramps.” He dropped it all into the cart on top of the vaginal deodorant, pads, and tampons Lucifer and I had picked out. Then held up a slip of paper in triumph. “Also got her phone number. Daddy’s got a date tonight,” he added with a wide smile.
Lucifer held my gaze another moment before turning his attention to Tick. “We better stop by the next aisle and get you some condoms too. I do lessons with the teens on how to put them on. If you think you’ll need assistance, we can stop by produce and get some bananas?—”
“Fuck you, man!” Tick laughed, playfully pushing Lucifer. He adjusted his glasses on his nose. “Haven’t you heard? Nerds are in! My dick probably needs to see a vet, it’s been getting so much pussy.”
I didn’t even bother to roll my eyes at that awful line. Instead, I put my phone away and pushed the cart forward. There was a flower section by checkout, and I owed Caroline an apology. Probably should pick up some smoked salmon too. It was her favorite after all.
My arms weigheddown by grocery bags, I tapped gently on the door to my bedroom. Technically, I could have just walked in—it was my room, after all—but that felt rude.