I shook my head vehemently. “No way. ‘That guy’ doesn’t exist for me.”
“What guy?” Riley whispered, completely lost now.
“Yeah, but…what if he does? You just gonna let him slip through your fingers?” Monroe asked.
Just the thought of being without Beau someday froze all the blood in my veins.
I bit my lip and shook my head. I wasn’t sure about anything anymore.
And then I realized that I’d just confirmed that Beau was gay when he’d never told anyone but me. “Oh god. I just outed him to you guys. Oh my god. Fuck. You can’t tell anyone. You can’t! Please. Oh, no, I feel sick,” I moaned,clutching my head. “I fucking suck. Oh my god I’m the worst person.”
“Hey, hey, hey, we’re not telling anyone, okay? Right Ri?”
Riley nodded and said, “Yep. Our lips are zipped. Don’t worry, Lea.”
“So, uh…who fainted? You or him?” Monroe’s amused smirk had me rolling my eyes.
“Ugh. He did. I thought I’d killed him,” I muttered.
“Damn, Lea. You’re that good?”
I smacked Riley’s arm.
When I got home laterthat day, Beau was still at my—our?—desk working on something. He was so engrossed in what he was doing that he didn’t hear me come in, so I just stood there and stared at him.
His hair was a little tousled in the back, like he’d been pulling at it. His ankles were crossed and his feet were bare, the starting point of a constellation of freckles that swept up his calves and thighs, standing out against skin that had darkened a little with our time in the sun. The keyboard clacked as he typed swiftly, the tendons in his forearm shifting in enticing lines as he worked.
“No, not that,” he murmured to himself. He grabbed the mouse and clicked on something, then went back to typing.
Something soft moved through me as I watched him. He looked good in my space. He fit there. He didn’t just fit, he changed it into something warm and comforting. His quiet presence subtly filled the room with a calming clarity that pulled me toward him.
But when I remembered what had happened earlier today, my shoulders sagged under the sad weight of it all.
Monroe’s reaction was pretty on par with who he was. Himand Riley accepting my feelings for Beau so readily was only to be expected. But Shea…
Shea was different. I was so worried what he might do when he found out about…all of it. I dreaded the day he returned. Dreaded telling him about us. Fear that I would lose my best friend had pulsed through me all day.
And yet, despite all these misgivings, I wasn’t going to stop this. What I had with Beau right now made me happier than I’d been at any other point in my life. As much as all of this scared me, the thought of not having him the way I had him now was gut-wrenching.
I padded quietly over to Beau, who still had no idea I was here. When I leaned down and slid my hands over his shoulders, then down his chest, he jumped in his chair with a startled yell and grabbed my hands.
He turned his face up to me. “Le?—”
I cut him off with my lips, slowly tasting the sweetness that was all mine. Beau relaxed his grip, sliding his hands up my forearms and moaning softly. When I pulled back, his eyes were still closed.
“Hi,” I said, pressing a kiss to the tip of his nose.
Beau opened his eyes and gave me a dreamy look that did all kinds of things to my heart. “Hi,” he whispered.
I swiveled his chair so he was facing me and put my hands on the arms, slid my thighs over either side of his, and straddled him. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he set his hands on my waist, looking up at me with so much adoration shining in his dark brown eyes that it took my breath away.
“I missed you,” I said, rubbing my cheek against his.
“Oh—” I could feel his heart thumping against mine, and the satisfaction I got from knowing I affected him just as much as he did me was immense. “I—I missed you too,” he said softly. “What’s wrong?”
I stilled. Of course he knew something was wrong. Ofcourse. Beau could read me like—well, probably like his coding stuff. Like what I was thinking was etched clear as day on my forehead, and he simply had to glance at me to know all my secrets.
I wondered why that didn’t bother me very much at all. No, it was kind of a relief, actually.