He was frowning at me with his arms crossed, and my heart jumped in my chest. Riley was scrolling through his phone, not looking at us—but that little smirk on his face gave him away.
“What? What’s that look for?” I asked.
“I don’t know, Lea, is there something you wanna tell us?”
My stupid heart started pounding so loud it was all I could hear. “N-no,” I laughed. “What? I mean, come on. There’s nothing to tell. Not a thing.”
“You sure about that?” Riley said.
Monroe turned to Riley, looking baffled. “What the hell is going on?”
“Ask Lea,” Riley suggested.
Monroe shook his head in disbelief. “Lea, are you—do you—” He scratched his jaw, then sighed. “Do you like Beau?”
“I…”
“Ohhh yeah, Judy told me last night. Wild stuff.” Riley laughed and shook his head. “Lee Lee found love. Congrats.” He winked at me. There was a soft warmth in his gaze, and thenhe went back to his phone like he hadn’t just upended my entire fucking world.
I knew he hadn’t done any of that maliciously, that he genuinely was happy for me, but I couldn’t breathe. “I…” Everything was so twisted inside of me right now, I could only shake my head.
Monroe sighed, his initial burst of confusion dwindling into quiet acceptance. He pointed to a stool at the bar and said, “Sit down,” then took a seat right next to it.
I walked over to the stool and sat down heavily, staring at my lap. I couldn’t meet his eyes.
“Lea,” he said softly. “What’s going on?”
“I…” I could feel it again. That stupid, stupid prickling in my nose.
“Hey,” Monroe said, tipping my chin up so I could meet his eyes. He was starting to blur in front of me. “It’s okay. I know you, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this. Tell me what’s going on, Lea.”
He was so gentle and genuine that the tears spilled over and rolled down my cheeks. I brushed them away and whispered, “I really like him. I didn’t mean for this to happen, it just… I’ve never met anyone like him, and he’s so sweet and…and Judy showed up uninvited and he moved all his stuff into my room and told me he’d pretend to be my boyfriend while she was here and then he came out to me, and then he kissed me, and I couldn’t…I don’t know what I’m doing, and I’m really scared.”
Riley came up behind me and wrapped his big arms around me. “It’s okay, Lea. Don’t cry.”
A big, blubbering sob burst out of me then. Riley was so damn sweet and gave the best hugs, and I needed a fucking hug right now.
“Okay, so you like him,” Monroe said. “Love him?”
I could only imagine how panicked I looked at his choice of words. He cleared his throat and amended, “Like him. You likehim. That’s okay. I mean, Jesus, you haven’t genuinely liked anyone in years, Lea. It’s okay. He likes you too?”
Riley was gently rocking me left to right, which made me want to laugh. “Yeah. I think he does,” I said. “I tried to—to end things with him because I know Shea is gonna kill me when he finds out, but…I just couldn’t. I can’t. I don’t want to.”
“Okay. Well, yeah, Shea might be a little baffled, but he’ll come around. He loves both of you. And we’ll be right here in case he tries to kill you,” Monroe joked.
“You’re not funny,” I grumbled.
Monroe reached out and took one of my hands in his, stroking his thumb over my knuckles. “It was a little funny.”
“Nah. It wasn’t,” said Riley.
“You guys,” I sighed. “What the hell am I gonna do?”
“Easy,” Riley replied. “Just go with it. Follow your heart.”
Not easy. Nothing about this was easy. Follow my heart? How could I follow something that had been left broken and bruised so far behind me? What did I even have left to offer Beau?
“Remember what I told you the other day? What if he’s that guy?” Monroe added softly.