He looked rested and clean and I could smell him from here. Now that we shared a shower, I had secretly been sniffing his shampoo when I was in there. It was a poor second to what I really wanted to do, which was press my nose into his neck.
Maybe lick it a little.
“How’s your hand?”
I blinked, then looked down at the gauze I’d rolled over the burn. I’d done a piss-poor job compared to Beau. “Oh—good, I put some of that ointment on it like you told me to. It feels a lot better today.” I raised my hand, wiggled my fingers, and smiled at him.
He blushed and nodded. “That’s good, I’m glad. I can look at it for you later, if you’d like?”
“Yes, I would like,MonsieurHart. Thank you.” I leaned back against the cushions. “What brings you to my neck of the woods?”
Beau shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans, looking somewhat flustered. “I just—I thought maybe I could—could hang out with you? Out here?”
Excitement hummed through my veins as a wide smile stretched across my face. “Fuck yes,” I said. “Oh my god, you’ve made my day! Or—we could go down to the beach if you want? It’s like a ten minute walk. It’ll be crowded since it’s Saturday, but I know a good spot.”
His expression turned wistful, and I knew that was exactly what he wanted to do. I hopped up and grabbed his arm. “Come on, let’s go—just go put your suit on and—do you have flip flops? You can borrow a pair of mine if you don’t.” I looked at his socked feet, then mine. His feet were about the same size as mine, so they should fit him.
“I—I don’t have a suit,” he admitted.
“No worries, you can borrow one of mine. I’ve got several with string ties, so the waist is adjustable. You can pick one out,” I told him, sliding my hand down to his and dragging him toward my room. His hand fit perfectly in mine, and I relished the way he accepted my hold, the warmth of his fingers, how he curled them around my own. I reluctantly let go once we were in my room, then pulled open my bottom drawer and rifled through the swim trunks.
I picked out three he could choose from, then turned around to find Beau beet red and staring at something on my bed. One glance told me I’d forgotten to put on the blue satin panties I’d pulled out earlier, and I quickly snatched them off the bed. “Oops,” I laughed. “You weren’t supposed to see that.”
“Oh my god, I’m so s-sorry,” he choked out, pulling one of his hands from his pocket and tugging nervously at the longer hair at the nape of his neck.
“No, that’s my fault, sorry Beau.” I quickly laid out his choices on the bed and told him to pick one. Beau’s hands were shaking when he picked up a solid blue pair. The color was similar to the underwear he’d just seen, and I wondered if that was a conscious choice he’d made. Then I wondered if the blue pantiesI’dchosen had been a subconscious choice because of the boxers he was wearing last night.
Nah.
I let him get changed while I slid on a pair of hot pink trunks that were a little shorter in the thighs and a button down Hawaiian shirt covered in flamingoes. I gave Beau my good pair of black slides, then grabbed a bag and threw a few towels, some sunscreen, two bottles of water, and a pack of emergency crackers into it, and then we were on our way.
As we walked down to the beach, I watched Beau as he took in everything around him. His eyes were lit with curiosity, bouncing from store to store, person to person. He seemed to really enjoy the atmosphere and getting to see all the people and restaurants and markets. I didn’t know anything about Kansas, but I assumed it wasn’t much like Blue Harbor. I was glad he liked it here.
When we passed a gay bar that had a lot of pride colors and a big rainbow flag, Beau stumbled to a stop. His cheeks flushed and he looked almost in awe of it.
Shea had told me what their mom was like. They were more horror stories than anything. I couldn’t say that I trulyunderstood what it was like to be raised by someone like that. My own family was loving and supportive and hadn’t even batted an eye when I’d come out in middle school.
I felt awful for what those brothers had gone through. And knowing Beau had endured so many more years than Shea, well…I wasn’t surprised that seeing something like this would stop him dead.
“We can go sometime, if you’re interested,” I said, hanging my chin over his shoulder.
He startled, like he’d forgotten I was there, and said, “Uh, no. Or, maybe. I don’t know.”
I hummed and we kept walking. When we got to the boardwalk, Beau gave an encore of his wide-eyed delight at everything around him. His obvious joy was contagious, and a sated kind of pleasure swirled in my chest as I watched him. I grabbed his hand to tug him toward the stairs, more so he didn’t trip over his own feet as he looked at everything.
When we got to the bottom of the steps, Beau paused and gaped at the ocean. His fingers went to his lips, and his eyes became glassy. I had the strongest urge to stand behind him and pull him against my chest, to rest my chin on his head, and just hold him while he processed everything.
“Excuse me, can you move?”
I glanced over my shoulder at the older woman carrying a beach chair who was currently glowering at us.
“Oh, sorry,” I said, pulling Beau to the side. He glanced up at me, mouth curved in a wobbly smile, and I couldn’t resist brushing my thumb across his bottom lip. He gasped and I dropped my hand. “Come on. Let’s go find our spot.”
We walked across the hot sand, the sound of hundreds of people playing and talking and laughing mingling with the intermittent melody of waves breaking and receding. Seagull cries echoed all around, and a comforting, familiar peace settled across my shoulders.
When we got to the rocky outcropping at the far end of the beach, I dropped our bag in an open spot and pulled out the towels. Beau slid the flip flops off his feet and wandered toward the water, shirt still on.
“Beau!” I called. He looked at me over his shoulder, and I showed him the sunscreen in my hand. “You’re really gonna need this, sweetheart.” He looked at the water, hesitated, then made his way back to me. “Okay, take your shirt off and I’ll get your back for you. You can do mine, too.”