Uncertainty flashed across his face, but then he rolled his lips between his teeth and nodded. He dragged his shirt off, folding it neatly and placing it inside the bag. God, he was sweet. I unbuttoned my shirt and tried to pretend I didn’t see the dark blush that immediately stained his cheeks. The way his eyes darted away as soon as it was off. I flung it carelessly on the sand by the bag.
“Come here,” I beckoned. Beau stepped closer, and I moved to stand right behind him. Uncapped the sunscreen and squirted a generous amount into my palm. He gasped when it touched his skin, and I murmured, “Yeah, sorry, it’s probably cold.”
His back was covered in light brown freckles, the curve of his spine an elegant line from his tailbone to his neck. My hands slid along his shoulder blades, flared like angel wings, then down to curl around his ribs as I rubbed the lotion into his skin. I poured more lotion into my palm, smearing it along his lower back, holding his hip with one hand and using the fingers of my other to rub it in. He was so damn pretty, his skin so soft, and I tightened my grip on his hip. My movements slowed and became more deliberate. I slid my fingers up his spine, feeling every vertebra on the way, curved them over the nape of his neck, down across his shoulders.
He ripped himself away from me so fast that I almost fell forward. I looked at him in shock, at his rapidly moving chest,the crimson color of his cheeks, neck, and chest, his hands in tight fists. “I th-think you got it,” he said quickly.
I blinked. “Right,” I said.
And then I looked down—and saw the obvious erection tenting the front of his trunks.Mytrunks.
I ripped my eyes away from his crotch and concentrated on applying the sunscreen to myself, but I couldn’t focus.
Had he—was that because?—
No. Nope.
I finished up and handed the tube of sunscreen to Beau, who was now sitting with his legs drawn up and his arms over his knees. “Here,” I said softly. “Sorry.”
“Thank you.” He took it without looking at me. All I wanted to do was to reassure him that everything was okay, that there was no shame in getting an erection, that it didn’t matter.
I wanted to tell him that I thought he was the sweetest person I’d ever met. That when he blushed, I had the strongest urge to press my lips to his cheeks and feel the heat of his skin against my mouth.
I wanted him to not be my best friend’s brother so I wouldn’t feel so guilty about having all these feelings.
11
BEAU
He’d seen it. He’d seen it. He’dseen.
Oh god.
Oh god oh god oh god.
I rubbed the sunscreen into my skin with shaking hands, trying to reassure myself that it didn’t matter.
It didn’t matter.
Everything was fine.
Even if he had seen it, that didn’t mean anything. Guys got boners all the time.Allthe time. Everywhere. For no reason. Right? It didn’t matter. It was a normal reaction. It didn’t mean anything.
I kept telling myself that, over and over again, until some of the anxiety started to dissipate. The soothing sounds of the waves and the seagulls, the smell of the ocean, and the feel of the breeze against my hot skin helped calm me down, too.
Lea hadn’t been talking to me at all since I’d pulled away from him. I should’ve just let him keep going because his hands had feltso good. Soft and firm at the same time, gently rubbing me. Holding me in place. Sliding along the curve of my spine.Touching me where I’d never been touched before in a way that I’d only dreamed about.
I had to remind myself that he was just helping me put sunscreen on and nothing more. To him, it was simply a perfunctory thing.
I’d overreacted, and I felt bad about that. He’d saved me from an awful situation last night after I’d drunk too much. I’d been so irresponsible and I couldn’t let anything like that happen again.
I really felt like the burden he told me I wasn’t.
“Do you want to swim?” Lea asked quietly. I didn’t like what his change in demeanor meant.
It meant that he was bothered by something, and I had a feeling I knew exactly what was bothering him.
“Yeah,” I croaked. I cleared my throat as I got to my feet, trying to forget about everything else except for the ocean in front of me, focusing on the growing excitement that I was finally—finally—getting to experience it for myself.