His soul?
They already got that.
Living on the damn planet was soul-sucking; everywhere he turned was a reminder of what he’d done. The mere fact that there was just one omega in the office working with Dr Micha was another reminder. On the way here, he saw three omegas out with an alpha because they were not allowed to walk alone in public. They had stared at him, shocked to see him walking around.
The staring was the worst. To this day, he wasn’t used to it.
He couldn’t take back what happened five years ago. He was trying to move on with his life. But it seemed he couldn’t move past it no matter how hard he tried or how long he subjected his body to the medication.
Deltta focused on Dr Micha and waited.
The test results were taking longer than usual. Micha took a lot of blood too, and asked him invasive questions about his heat. Deltta hadn’t known what to say. He spent his heats asleep because he was afraid to share them with an omega. He wasn’t going to scare another omega half to death.
Being knocked out wasn’t so bad. He spent three to four days asleep. It was the best, even though his brother believed it was unhealthy.
Who cared? He wasn’t going to traumatize another omega.
But that didn’t mean he didn’t miss sex. Fuck. He missed it. He was hard half the time, a discomfort he was willing to live with considering the alternative.
Dr Micha pinched the bridge of his nose as he stared at the monitor.
“Is something wrong?” Delta asked.
“Uhm...” he rubbed his eyes and then focused on him. “I’ve been trying to figure out a solution before I brought this matter to you. But I can’t figure out how we can stop the continued change in your hormone levels and fast metabolic rate during your heat. The sedative counteracts those effects bringing your body to a relaxed state, but it's…”
“What? You’re killing me with the doctor speak. Maybe get to the point, Micha.”
“Yes, of course. The sedative we’ve been giving you for your heats won’t work anymore. Your body is fighting it.” He opened a drawer and took out some vials. “Last month, I gave you this one.” He pointed to one of the vials. “It didn’t work as well as I’d hoped.”
Deltta nodded.
He'd felt lucid there at the end. He hadn’t thought much of it because his heat was nearing its end anyway. “What’s the way forward?”
“I think you should consider finding an omega who can handle you."
“That’s out of the question.”
"The sedatives won't work anymore. You don't have a choice."
"I think I do."
"After what happened five years ago, you’re no longer the same alpha. You need to…sorry to put it so bluntly, but you need to fuck.”
Deltta got to his feet. “Send the sedative. I’ll take twice the dosage if I must.”
“No. That’ll make the situation worse. You must...”
“No, I don’t have to do a damn thing,” Deltta growled at him. His alpha scent filled the room, overwhelming the other alpha. Dr Micha clamped his mouth shut. “Send the stuff. I’ll be expecting it.”
“Yes, alpha king,” he murmured.
Deltta flinched.
He wasn’t the alpha king anymore. They stripped him of the title and handed it over to his brother. He didn’t just lose his sanity five years ago; he lost everything.
He moved from being the strongest alpha on the planet to not knowing what to do with himself. Sometimes the alpha inside him clamoured to get out, making him feel lost and agitated.
Deltta walked out of the office. Maxus got to his feet - the ever-present alpha sentinel.