Even if the hurt in her voice begs me to slay all her demons and bury all the dickheads in the ground forever for making her doubt her self-worth.
The only truth that rings loud and clear, though, is that there’s no universe where she can be mine.
I shouldn’t evenwanther to be mine. If Ezra ever got a whiff of the thoughts that run rampant in my head about his baby sister, he’d fucking skin me alive. And honestly, if I were him, I’d do the same, worse even.
Though all those thoughts of staying away from Andie and maintaining my distance turn to dust the moment the words that make my ears bleed, and heart burn, escape her mouth. “I’ll find someone else who’s more willing.”
Like hell she will!
Without even having the opportunity to process my following actions, I’m bolting toward her, grabbing her waist and picking her up to make her sit on the kitchen counter, positioning my hands at her sides so she doesn’t try to run away from me again.
Her doe eyes widen as she releases a squeak, her fingers clutching my forearms. “I fuckingdareyou to say that again,” I growl, my heart hammering at the possibility of her with someone who is not me, exploring all the wayssinning could feel like heaven on earth.
If I thought Andie would cower, I was wrong. She looks me dead in the eyes, her nails digging into my skin, sending a delicious burn skating through my body as my sweatpants feel two sizes too small.
“You can’t have it both ways, Noah,” she grits, annoyance lacing her voice. I see what she’s hiding behind those words, though—a truckload of pain and rejection. And I’ll fucking die before I ever make her feel unwanted.
A few minutes pass before I finally speak, knowing full well it might blow up in my face and destroy one of my most cherished friendships. Ezra is more than just a friend—he’s family, he’s my brother.
What gnaws at my conscience, though, is that I can never see his sister as mine, even if he threatens to cut off my balls—which I desperately hold dear.
“Fine,” I whisper, my head falling between my shoulders as I glare at her feet, cursing the day when my dick and heart decided to fantasize about the only woman so fucking far out of my reach, so fucking forbidden.
“W-What?” comes her hesitantvoice.
Taking a deep breath and mustering all my courage—which I seem to do a lot in her presence—I look straight into her eyes. “I’ll do it. I’ll teach you all there is to know about sex,” I say with a finality I honestly don’t feel in my bones.
I can’t believe that these words are leaving my mouth. But Andie seems to when she claps her hands, an electric smile instantly covering her face. “Fantastic!” she exclaims, clearly too excited for my demise. “When do we start?”
“It’s not a game, Andie,” I remark, my knuckles whitening as they hold on to the kitchen counter for dear life. “We need to set rules.”
Her luscious lips curve into a smirk, and I already know she’s going to sass me. “Don’t all games need that?” Her eyes twinkle with the devil that sits on her shoulders, enticing me with everything she does.
“Fuck,” I chuckle. “You know what I mean. The first and most important rule, no one can know about this, especially Ezra.”
She rolls her coffee eyes, making me wonder how farIcan make them roll.
You’ll know soon enough.
Jesus Christ, I will, won’t I?
“I don’t go around advertising my sex life toeveryone, Noah. Especially not to Ezra,” she snarks, and damn, I’m not sure how to feel about the fact that I’m imagining my best friend’s baby sister swallowing my cock with that smart mouth.
“We also won’t be seeing other people for the length of time we are doing…this,” I state, pointing between us with my index finger. I want her to agree to it because I don’t know if I can handle her being with someone who’s not me.
“Done,” she nods her head, agreeing in an instant as a few strands of hair fall free from her messy bun, framing her stunning face.
I clear my throat because the next question might make her feel uncomfortable, and that’s the last thing I want her to be in my presence. “So, how far have you…” I drawl, unable to put such an intimate question into words.
Andie gets the hint regardless and answers, “Umm…I’ve never gone further than k-kissing,” she reveals.
My eyes screw shut. “You’re killing me here, Andie,” I mutter under my breath.
How on God’s green earth is it possible that no man or woman has ever wanted to take it further with her? I’m literally grasping at straws here andthanking my lucky fucking stars to even be in the same room as her, let alone have the chance to help her explore her sexuality.
“Alright, so we need a safe word? Know what that is?” I say, my voice hoarse with the weight of it all.
“I’m a virgin, Noah, not oblivious. Of course, I know what a safe word is.”