“Fuck?”She nipped my jaw.
I was struggling to breathe.
“We may as well, right?”
My breath shook as I tried to fucking think straight.I was so hard it hurt.I wanted this female more than anything.I’d missed her touch, missed being close to her, being inside her, and now she wanted to lie with me again?Like nothing had happened?“You despise me,” I choked out.
“I’d have to give a fuck about you to despise you, Silas.”
“Ursula…I, we can’t…” She worked my belt, undoing it.Ididgive a fuck, though.It had taken me three years to get to the point that I accepted she didn’t want me and she never would again.I’d made a deal with Michael, and sleeping with her again could risk everything, my wings, signing the book of alliance with Rosalind.Yes, our pair bonding was nothing more than a friendship and a way to ensure the survival of our kind, but I’d made my decision, I’d made my peace with never being with Urs again, and now I was ready to throw it all away, throw my future away to be with her again.“We shouldn’t do this…” She popped the button of my jeans.
“Not asking you to marry me, Si,” she said.“Fighting works me up, is all.I just want some help to ease the ache.”She licked her perfect lips.“If you’re not into it, I’m not going to force you.”
I growled, lost, falling fast and hard with no way to stop it, because this was Ursula and she wanted me.She wanted me again.
“Is that a no?”
I shook my head, and she released me, stepping back instantly, misunderstanding.
“No harm no foul.I’ll deal with it myself,” she said and winked, taking a step back.“If you don’t want me?—”
I snatched her to me, thrusting my fingers into her hair, my arm locking too tightly around her small waist, but I couldn’t make myself loosen my hold.“I want you too fucking much.”
Her eyes flared, and when I didn’t make a move, her lips curled up, then she leaned in and nuzzled my jaw, her soft lips brushing my skin.I stood frozen, wanting this more than anything yet afraid of what it would mean.What would happen if she let me in?Would she only want me for the duration of the tournament?Then she’d lock me out again when this was all over?If she was playing with me, I wasn’t sure I would recover a second time.But asking her for more, telling her any of that would scare her away.
She gave me a shove.I stepped back, taking her with me, still unable to let her go.I backed up until I hit the wall behind me.The first time we’d fucked, I’d been frozen as well.She’d asked me if I wanted her, and I’d said yes, but I’d had no idea what to do.She’d shown me.I knew now—I’d thought about and relived every time we were together over and over again—but I was frozen, just like the first time with her, the first time I’d ever been with any female, because like then, this meant too much, it meant everything to me, and I was afraid to want it, to give in to it and then lose her.
She leaned in and sucked one of my pierced nipples into her mouth, then tugged gently.Electricity shot through my gut.It was like she’d tugged on my cock.I groaned as pleasure slammed through me.
“I like these,” she said.“What made you get them?”
To punish myself.I couldn’t say that, though, and when she sucked and tugged on them, they felt far from a punishment.When I didn’t answer, she slid her hand down to the zipper of my jeans.“Don’t get all coy with me now, angel,” she said.“There has to be a reason.”
I sucked in a breath, humiliation washing through me as she slid down my zipper.How could I have forgotten?I tried to jerk my hips back when she reached for my cock, but the wall was right there and I had nowhere to go.Her fingers brushed my pierced and painfully hard erection when I tried to twist my hips away.
It was her turn to still.“Silas?”
I gritted my teeth.
“You pierced your dick as well?”
More humiliation burned my cheeks.There was no hiding it now, she’d felt them.
Her hand dipped down again, and I stayed perfectly still as she explored my hard flesh.I couldn’t look at her, a mix of ecstasy at having her hands on me, even while I was sure of her disgust and confusion over what I’d done to myself.My breath caught as she shoved my jeans lower and lifted my boxer briefs over my arousal, freeing it.No doubt so she could get a better look at it, at the way I’d mutilated myself.
“That’s…so fucking hot,” she said.
My eyes snapped open.She was looking down at my cock, her lips slightly parted, her eyes wide and excited, not full of disgust.“You aren’t repulsed?”
Her eyes snapped up to mine.“Why would I be repulsed?”
“I thought… I assumed...”
Her brows snapped together.“You got them ’cause you like them, right?”
I said nothing.What could I say?
Her brows lowered.“Why did you get these, Silas?”