“Shit. It was that bad?”
“It was worse,” I whispered, refusing to let my mind spiral back there.
“I missed you. It was hard when you left.”
I hated the look of sadness reflected in his eyes. I wanted to tell him the rest of the story, but I didn't know where to start. The fear of all those emotions and monsters I’d kept hidden all these years was as real as the day they started.
“You think we can be that way again? Us against the world?”
“I’d like that, Jas. I really would.”
“Me too. Fuck, I missed you, bro.”
“You all settled in?”
“Yeah. Thanks for this. Are you sure it’s okay? It’s not invading your personal space?”
Helen frowned. “And you ask me thisafteryou’ve unpacked?”
I recoiled. “Shit. You don’t want me here, do you? I’ll go pack again. I should never have—”
Helen stood from her seat on the sofa, grabbing my wrist. “I’m joking. How about you stop asking if this is okay?” She let go, and I hated how much I wanted her to touch me again. “So, what do you normally do on a Sunday?”
“Drink vodka and talk about sex toys,” I joked, making Helen’s cheeks pinken.
“Anything but that.” She buried her face in her palms with a loud groan that went straight to my cock. “Actually, I’ve eaten too much and I’m still suffering with my hangover, so I’m going to go take a nap.” And with that, she left me alone with my thoughts that seemed to be suddenly consumed with her.
Chapter 5
Helen
I woke with a jolt, panicking because I’d heard a noise, but then I remembered I didn’t live alone anymore. I had a lodger. God, it made me sound even older than I felt. Next, I’d have too many cats and have taken up knitting.
I climbed out of bed, deciding I needed a girl’s night out, and soon. Walking downstairs, I rubbed my eyes as I tried to clear the fog from my brain, happier now my hangover had vanished completely.
Just as my feet hit the hall floor, the front door opened and Jackson walked in, making my jaw hit the ground.
Topless, tattooed, barefoot and only wearing a tiny pair of green shorts and a backward cap, his chest heaved and sweat covered his smooth skin. He seemed distracted, so it took a second for him to notice me, but I used that moment to take him in. Wide, toned, tight, corded, ripped, stacked… words flooded my head as excitement flooded my underwear and I physically recoiled from the filth that popped into my head.
“Hey,” he whispered when his eyes met mine. “Dropped my earbud on the way in… just found it on the doorstep.” I slowly nodded, unsure what to say. “Sleep well?”
“Like the dead,” I replied. Swallowing hard, I maneuvered around him so I could get to the kitchen, but he followed so close behind that I could smell his musky scent that wrapped around me like a blanket I wanted to bury my face in.
“That’s good.”
I filled the kettle and switched it on, my heart hammering so hard I wondered if I was having a heart attack. “I think I’m going to go drink my tea on the beach. I need a daily fix of sea air.” I needed to put some space between us.
Reaching for my thermal mug that would keep my tea warm while I stood barefoot in the shallows, I avoided looking at Jackson. I didn’t mean to make it weird, but I knew I was. I was just so freaked out with the things I’d told him last night and the reaction my body kept having to him.
“Helen, turn around. Please.”
I didn’t move.
“Helen.” This time there was slightly more force, but I didn’t feel threatened. I liked how his tone made me feel and how much I wanted to comply.
I turned.
“Thank you.”