“I mean, I have a job here that I love and I have no plans on leaving anytime soon… or ever, if I have my way. I just need to find somewhere to stay.” He looked around at my boys. “The sale on my place fell through. I’m in a hotel and, well, it’s not great.”
“Places round here are like gold dust. It took Mum a while to find somewhere,” Jasper told him, causing Jackson to blow out a long breath.
“Yeah, I was hoping that wouldn’t be the case. I can’t live in that hotel. I’ll lose my mind.”
I spooned the crumble into bowls, avoiding everyone’s eyes because my boys could see right through me and they’d never understand Jackson staying here last night.
“Ma, you’ve got a spare room and you keep complaining about how you hate living alone.”
I glared at Conner. “I said that once and now you annoying buggers keep showing up to keep me company.”
Callum leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. “You’re welcome. But seriously, you can let Jax stay, can’t you?”
“I’m sure he doesn’t want to be staying with me? Right?” I looked at Jackson.
“Yeah-yeap. My shifts are all over the place. I don’t want to disrupt your life.”
I reached over and placed my hand on Jackson’s without even thinking about what I was doing. “That’s not it at all.”
“See, she’s a good egg. So he can stay?” Jasper asked.
I offered a small nod, pulling my hand back.
“Really?” Jackson whispered, his mouth curving into a wide smile that I knew I couldn’t say no to.
“Fine. Eat your dessert and then you boys can go help him collect his stuff from the hotel.”
My oldest son nudged Jackson in the arm. “It’s good to have you back, man. It will be just like old times.”
Jax
I let Jasper’s words settle because that’s what I’d wanted; why I’d come back. To recreate my life before it fell apart. Before my mum died and Dad lost his mind. Before I became a teenager, dealing with things that no teenager should deal with on their own. But being back had shown me that living here could never be the same because I was a grown man now. I couldn’t ride my bike all day with my friends. I couldn’t whisper my secrets to them, knowing they’d hold them safe. I couldn’t live that carefree life I remember having once upon a time. And it couldn’t be the same because I wasn’t the same person I was when I left all those years ago. Despite all that, I was glad I’d reconnected with the boys I’d grown up with, who had become the men I was looking forward to getting to know.
While living with Helen.
Helen, that I’d not been able to stop thinking about all day. Helen, who had the type of soft, rounded body that I craved, but never let myself go after. Helen, who had a box filled with sex toys and would be sleeping across the hall for me. Toys that I told her to experiment with.
Fuck.
I leaned my head against the window of the hotel room I’d come back to after lunch. Conner, Callum, and Jasper offered to come with me, but I hardly had any stuff as most of it was in storage until the move, so only Jasper was here.
“Why did you leave?” he asked quietly. I knew this was coming, but I still wasn’t sure I was ready to talk about it.
I turned, as Jasper sat on the end of the hotel bed.
“You remember my dad, right? What he was like after Mum died?” I sat next to him, rubbing my hand over the back of my neck.
“You mean Reverend Cartwright? Of course I remember him. He turned into some extreme zealot, obsessed with the fiery gates of hell. Eternal damnation for our sins.”
Memories of him punched through into my head from where I’d buried them all those years ago.
“Yeah, well, he was hard on his congregation, but he was even harder on his son.” I focused on the garish burgundy carpet beneath my black boots. “He thought I was sinning, and he didn’t want to be embarrassed when people found out, so he made us leave. He’d been planning it for a while, but I had no idea until that night.”
I turned to face my friend. “I promise. I got home from school and the house had been packed up. I begged him to let me stay, but he was having none of it. I’d like to tell you that things improved when we moved, but… well, they didn’t.”
“I had no idea it was that bad for you. You still see him?”
I laughed. Loudly. Sounding unhinged. “No. Not since I turned eighteen. Fucker could be dead for all I care.”