Players got traded all the time.Those with families moved, and the kids found new schools, new friends.But Mia had somehow justified the good things in Arne’s life as being enough of a reason for her to stay and give up so much of herself.
“Plan B.I move here.We could live in this house.You’d still be close, Arne would have his friends and family and school.We hire someone to help with your mom, and you could go back to school, or whatever you wanted.”
Her mouth opened, then closed.“How…how could you come here?”
I took a long breath, considered what I could do, what I was willing to offer.“I can ask for a trade.Play in Vancouver, Seattle maybe.”
Her face went white.“You’re supposed to be in Toronto, winning the Cup this year.The team is counting on you.”
I flinched.I was and they were.But this wasMia.She needed me, though she’d never admit it, and I needed her.If this was the only way I could be with Mia, take care of her, love her, give her a life she deserved, then yeah.I’d do it.
“I love playing for the Blaze.I’m close to the guys, and that’s not easy for me.But I love you, more than any of that.So for you and Arne, I’ll find a way to be here.”
Her eyes widened.“You…love me?”
“Are you really surprised?”
She looked away from me.“And if you can’t work that trade?”
I swallowed.“I retire.Then I’m free to do whatever I want.”The thought was big and loud and scary.I was only twenty-nine and playing as well as I ever had.I hadn’t made plans for after.
Mia looked back at me.I raised my chin, nodded.I’d do it.
“You’d hate that.”
“Not as much as being without you.”I’d choose her before anything else.There was nothing I’d earned or won or done in the last eleven years that made up for what I’d lost when I left her.
Her eyes moved over my face, like she was testing my resolve by what she could see.I didn’t know any way to convince her, beyond what I’d said.
“I need to think.This is— You’ve just thrown this at me and it’s big, Justin.”
It wasn’t a no.It wasn’t a yes, but she was considering it, so I still had a chance.“Yeah, it is.Big.If you need time, I’ll wait.”I’d been waiting since we broke up, even if I didn’t know it.
“I won’t take too long.”
She could all the time she wanted.I wasn’t going anywhere till she answered.“Take as long as you need to make the right decision.I’ll be here.”
She tried to smile, but she was blinking her eyes and finally sniffed while shaking her head.“I’m going to go.Um, get back to real life, and decide what’s best.For everyone.”
She headed for the door and I followed.Before she could push the screen door open, I reached for her arm.When she turned back, I pressed my lips to hers.Just for a moment, not asking for anything, reminding her that I loved her.
“Make the decision that’s best for you, Mia.”
But as I watched her walk away, I was afraid she’d decide for everyone else, like she always did.
Chapter27
I’m Not Giving Up
Mia
I walked around the neighborhood aimlessly, my head spinning.I’d prepared to say good-bye to Justin.It was going to hurt like hell, but I’d known this would only be a memory, something that I’d pull out to relive when things were tough.I’d gotten too close, but if I never saw him again, I’d have this.Our situation was still impossible.
Except Justin thought it wasn’t.He would sacrifice his career to make us work.Something cold and empty inside me warmed at the thought.I might as well admit, at least to myself, that I loved Justin too.
Eleven years ago, when we’d had that last fight, this was what I’d wanted—him to make me his first priority, even though I couldn’t do the same for him.Then, I’d have agreed that we could overcome all obstacles.But I was eleven years smarter.And while my heart wanted to say yes, love wasn’t going to conquer all.I had Arne in addition to my family to consider this time, not just what Justin or I wanted.
I stopped at the local park, where Justin and I had fought eleven years ago.This time of day there were moms with kids, a few teenagers probably skipping school, and some seniors, all enjoying the nice weather.I sat on a bench and struggled to push aside emotion for logic.