I shrugged.I wasn’t the most creative guy, but I liked trying new things in the kitchen.It drove Jess nuts since she couldn’t replicate it.She followed recipes precisely when she baked, and after trying my freewheeling style on baked goods and failing miserably, I stuck with cooking.
“What other surprises have you been hiding?”
I lowered the heat on the burner and turned in her arms.“Nothing you haven’t discovered by now.But if you need a reminder…”
I’d never gone down on a woman in the kitchen before, but there was a first time for everything.And Mia seemed to appreciate it.
For the last two weeks of Mia’s original contract, we spent our days in a bubble.Evenings, I’d watch the hockey playoffs and sometimes talk to teammates.Jess was doing well and would be in BC before too long.No one noticed a difference in my behavior, at least not to mention.But I was only truly alive the hours Mia was here.
I promised myself I’d let her go at the end of her last “shift” on Friday.She had another job lined up and I couldn’t stand the idea of rattling around this house without her.I’d booked tickets to leave next week, my hand almost back to normal.The team was anxious to evaluate me on home ice, and I needed to assure them I could be counted on.Cooper wanted help with his retreat.I’d have things to do to fill the hours of the day.
My heart, however, was firmly lodged in PoCo.
The last day, after we’d had sex and showered, we ate lunch in the kitchen.Mia gathered the things that had accumulated around the house while she’d been here and shoved them into a bag.
Words blurted out of me, the things I’d been dreaming and hoping.“Maybe we can make it work this time.”
Mia paused, her bag on her shoulder.“What?”
Should I push?I had to try.The wary look on her face, the stiffness in her posture—she wanted me to let it go.But fuck.I wasn’t giving up without a fight.Not again.What was the point of all this therapy if I was going to make the same mistakes?
“Things have changed.We’ve changed.We could try.”
She closed her eyes, took a long breath.“We said this was just—what, a moment out of time?”
“It doesn’t have to be.”
“Justin—”
I gathered what arguments I had.“The big problem last time was money.I’m not responsible for my family, and I have money I can use to solve problems.”
She lifted and dropped her hands.“I’m still responsible for my family.”
“I could be.I can pay for someone to take care of your mom.Pay for food, a car, whatever.”
She clenched her fists.“It’s not just money, Justin.”
“Could it be?”
“What does that mean?”
“Do you have to do it all yourself?Can you not put what you want first now?”
She turned, took a couple of steps, spun back around.“I have a kid.He’s always going to take priority.”
“He should—I’m not arguing with that.And I know he comes with you.But is what you’ve got right now the best for him?Couldn’t it be good if you came with me?”
“That’s your solution?Arne and I go to Toronto, and you pay a bunch of people to take care of things here?”
I wasn’t sure her family deserved that much, but to keep Mia happy I’d pay for anything they needed.“Why not?”
“Money doesn’t solve everything!”Her voice was rising.
“No, but it can do a lot.”
“Arne has school here, friends, and family.Family that loves him.Anytime I need someone to take care of him, they do that.”
How could she say her family loved anyone?Arne was a great kid, and they probably were happy to pick up the slack the few times Mia didn’t.But none of that family would put anyone but themselves first.How the hell could I tell Mia her mother used her, didn’t consider what was best for her, or she wouldn’t be in the mess she was in now?