“Have you heard anything yet?” his mom asked, and I proceeded to give them a rundown of what they’d found and what would be happening next. His mom’s hand went over her mouth, and she looked down at Reid. “Oh my God. How… Did we do something wrong? I didn’t know about the headaches, and?—”
“It was nothing you did, I can assure you,” I said. “Nothing he did either. Sometimes it happens, and you can’t predict it; you can only try to catch it early before—” Realizing what I was about to say, and not wanting to utter that morbid possibility, I tried again. “It’s just best to catch it early, and that’s what they’re doing now.”
Someone in the doorway cleared their throat, and when we turned in her direction, Sue, one of the nurses, stood there withan apologetic look on her face. “I’m so sorry, but we can’t allow more than two visitors in the room at a time.”
Damn that fucking rule.
I indicated the door with my thumb. “I’ll just be outside grabbing a coffee.” To Reid, I said, “I’ll see you before you go back.”
The look on his face told me he didn’t want me to leave, but he needed to spend this time with his family.
“Ollie, thank you. Once again you’ve been there for Reid, and I don’t know how we can—” His mother cut off as she broke into tears, and her husband put his arm around her.
“Thank you,” he said over her head, and the gratitude in his eyes said enough.
The stares from my colleagues as I exited Reid’s room were full of nothing but sympathy, and I could feel the support they were sending my way without any words needing to be spoken.
As the double doors opened and I headed out into the waiting room, I felt as though I was moving in slow motion. I took the nearest chair and sank into it, putting my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands.
And then I waited.
And waited.
And waited.
A hand on my shoulder shocked me upright, but it was only Sue, coming to check on me. She didn’t ask how I was—that much could be read on my face.
“Can I get you anything, Ollie? Some coffee? Something to eat?”
“No,” I said, rubbing my face. “But thank you, Sue.”
She squeezed my shoulder. “Holler if you need anything.”
When the doors opened again, Reid’s parents came through, and I got to my feet.
“They’re about to take him back, but he wanted to see you first,” his mom said. “We’re supposed to go to the waiting room on the fourth floor.”
“Thanks,” I said, as I watched them go, and then I waited until the doors buzzed open again and hurried through.
There was a notepad in Reid’s lap when I entered, and he quickly tore off the top page and folded it up.
“Ollie,” he said. “Before I go, I wanted to?—”
“We’re ready for you, Reid,” Dr. Boswell said, entering the room with a team wheeling in a gurney.
“But…” Reid gestured toward me. “Can I just have a minute with him. Please?”
“I’m sorry, but we’ve got to get you ready in pre-op.”
This was happening too fast. We hadn’t even had a chance to say what we needed to, and God knew I wasn’t ready for the possibility of losing him, no matter how irrational that fear could turn out to be. But the medic in me knew his life was on the line, and every second I held things up was a second that things could take a dramatic turn. I wouldn’t be able to live with that if anything happened to Reid.
“You’ve got this,” I told him, fighting back the emotions that threatened to overwhelm me if I let them out. I needed to be strong for him, even if I didn’t feel it.
Reid reached out for my hand, and when I grasped it, he said, “I promise. I promise I’ll wake up to you.” Then he brought our joined hands up to his mouth and brushed a kiss on my palm, and before he let go, he transferred the piece of paper he’d been holding to me. “I’ll see you soon, Ollie.”
“I’ll be here.”
He smiled at me, a smile full of hope and maybe something more—love. Love, in the way you’d love your friend or a loved one. He couldn’t possibly mean it in any other way, but thesentiment was there all the same.You’re someone I love and care about. I’ll come back to you.