I snapped back into focus then, just as Reid said, “I’m sorry, can you repeat that last part again?”
“We’ve got to operate,” Dr. Boswell said. “Today, with your permission, Reid.”
Somehow, I’d known those words were coming, but that didn’t make it any easier to hear them said out loud. And by the lack of shock on Reid’s face, I’d guess he’d known all along that his symptoms were more serious than merely a headache.
“I assume there’s no other way to…fix it?” he asked.
“I’m afraid not,” Dr. Boswell said. “Bleeding in the brain is a serious condition that can be fatal if left untreated. We can’t take the risk of waiting.”
Reid blinked as his eyes found mine, and I nodded to indicate she was telling the truth and I agreed. “I-I’ll need to call my family?—”
“Your parents are on their way,” I said. “I called while you were getting the CAT scan. They should be here soon.”
“Oh…okay…okay.” He looked down at his hands, his teeth worrying his lip. “I guess you…have my permission. If there’s no other option.”
“I’m afraid not, Reid. But don’t worry, we’ll take good care of you. Do you have any questions for me?”
“I…don’t know.”
She gave him an understanding smile. “I know this is probably a bit of a shock for you. But if there’s anything you think of that you’d like to know, just ask. Okay?”
“Okay.”
“I’ll be back with my team in a little while to get things going. Just sit tight.”
Reid nodded, and as she left the room, I could feel his stunned silence like a tangible thing in the air.
“How did this happen?” he whispered. “I was supposed to be getting better, not—” He broke off on a sob, but then he bit down on his fist and pulled it back together.
“Just breathe,” I said. “And if you want to cry, you can do that too.”
Reid took in a deep breath and let it out slowly before repeating the move again. When he opened his eyes again, the fear that had been there was no longer the most dominant emotion, though it still lingered. In its place was acceptance, and as he exhaled again slowly, he reached out for my hand.
“Thank you for looking out for me. For caring enough about me to bring me here.” I leaned over to kiss him lightly on the lips, and when I sat back down, he said, “This won’t be like the last time, will it? I’m not gonna wake up and forget everything again. Right?”
“I don’t know,” I answered. “I hope not. But anytime there’s a brain injury, it opens itself up to possibilities.”
“So I could forget you?” His gaze was so direct, so penetrating, that I swore he could see the answer I feared in my head like it was written on a billboard. “That’s a possibility, however remote?”
I swallowed back the lump in my throat and tried for a smile. “Now, why would you do a thing like that?”
“Ollie. Could I?”
“I don’t know,” I said again, wishing I could give him a definitive answer. “I hope not. I’m sure the likelihood is slim, but I don’t know. And I won’t make you a promise I’m not a hundred percent positive I can keep.”
Reid looked away, his gaze drifting to the medical equipment set up in the corner. “When I wake up, I might not be me. I might not know you anymore.” His eyes glassed over. “And I like knowing you.”
Stutter. Stutter. Stutter.My heart wasn’t ready for that possibility. “I like knowing you too.”Breathe. Just breathe.“But don’t think about the what-ifs. Think about waking up to me.”
“I’ll remember,” he said, his jaw set as his eyes met mine. “I swear I won’t forget you. I won’t forget any of it.” His hand squeezed mine so tight that my circulation was cut off. “I promise I’ll wake up to you.”
I knew better than for him to make promises he couldn’t keep, the same as I couldn’t, but I nodded anyway, hoping it was the truth.
The door swung open, and as Reid’s parents came rushing inside, dressed up in elegant evening attire that told me I’d definitely interrupted date night, I let go of Reid’s hand and got to my feet.
“Baby, we came as fast as we could,” his mom said, rounding the bed to plant a kiss on his forehead, and then she moved to the side for Reid’s father to greet him as well.
I stood there like an elephant in the room until they both looked my way.