“What kind of feelings?”
“I don’t know. More than friends. Not like a brother. It’s…confusing.”
Sud chuckles softly. “Tell me about it.” He shakes his head. “Our relationship isn’t simple.”
“You can say that again.”
Sud grins. “Our relationship isn’t simple.”
Pushing him backward, I say, “Well, you’ve just made it clear. It’s definitely disdain that I feel for you.”
Grabbing my hand, Sud yanks me back into his arms. “So, you’re saying that you’ve fallen for me? I can’t blame you. Most everyone does.”
I struggle to get loose, but he holds me fast. “What did you think the feelings I had were?” I ask, exasperated. “More than a friend…not like a brother?”
Sud pretends to think. “I don’t know. Lust? I mean, look at this bod.”
“Okay, forget it. I changed my mind.”
“Your ears are red,” Sud teases.
“Shut up. Let me go.” I start struggling again, and Sud leans closer so we’re nose to nose. “I’m in love with you, too,” he says. “I don’t know exactly when it happened, but there you go. Accepting that you are with P’Wisit is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”
“How many times do I have to say it; I’mnotwith P’Wisit!“ I exclaim becausedid he just confess to me?
Sud chuckles and lets me go. “I was so sure you were.”
Which was my fault.
As usual, Sud reads my mind. “Don’t. It’s over and we understand each other now. Let’s make a pact to always tell each other the truth.”
“Do you forgive me for lying to you?” I ask.
“Of course.” Leaning in, he kisses me on the forehead. I want him to kiss me on the mouth, but I’m afraid for him to at the same time. Because as much as I’m certain that I love Sud, and as happy as I am that he said he loves me, I’m worried we’ll lose what we have if we’re not careful about how we move forward.
Chapter Twenty-four: Sud
Noi’s exhausted. He filmed his scene that was so emotionally draining, and as soon as the director called cut, ran sobbing to a corner where he’s been for thirty minutes while I’m filming another scene. Finally, I’m able to go to him and coax him to go lie down in one of the rooms with a bed. I lie down next to him, stroking his hair until he falls asleep. He did really well with the scene. I watched even though he didn’t want me to, but I stayed in the background, viewing it on the monitor with P’Tee. Seeing him so broken was hard. I didn’t realize I was crying until P’Tee handed me a tissue.
We have to go on location next week—I didn’t hear where, only that it will be a three-to-four-hour drive. Before we go, we have to film the second half of the love scene, or the entire thing over again if the director decides he wants something different than what was in the unofficial trailer. P’Intapong and P’Tee agree to give Noi and me Wednesday off and schedule the scene for Thursday.
Noi spends all that day and night with me. We mostly play video games, and, that evening, I cook a simple dinner for us, after which we put on a movie. He snuggles into me on the couch as we watch it.
During a break in the action, Noi says, “This is nice.”
“I agree,” I say, stroking his soft hair.
“Sud?”
“Hmm?”
“I’m sure you know I’ve always loved you, but this is…different.”
“Yeah, I get it. Because I feel the same. You’ve always been special to me, but lately it’s, well, like you said. Different.”
He nods, head against my chest.
“I’ve been thinking about something,” he says after a minute. “I think we should wait until after we film the love scene to go any further in our own relationship.”