Since we cleared things up between us and confessed our feelings, we haven’t really acted much different with each other than usual. But I feel the underlying pull between us.
Noi looks up, watching my face. “You know, because our characters are supposed to be entering something new, and we’ll do a better acting job if it really is new to us.”
“Pragmatic as always,” I say, grinning.
“Do you mind?”
“Do I mind not getting to make out with you? Yeah, I do.” I wait a beat. “But I understand, and you’re probably right. We’re not in a hurry.”
Noi’s smile is unbearably sweet.
He falls asleep as soon as we get back to watching the movie. Wrapping my arm around him, I tug him closer.
I guess I’ve got it bad if I’m watching him sleep now. During the time I thought he was seeing P’Wisit, I asked myself again if maybe my jealousy had more to do with having to relinquishmy role as the most important person in Noi’s life. I could see by the tightening around his eyes and the way he sometimes winced and rubbed his temples when he thought I wasn’t watching that he was stressed, but I knew better than to say anything about it. Noi wouldn’t want me to call attention to it at work, and that was the only time I saw him. Imagining him going to P’Wisit for comfort made me nearly crazy.
Looking at him now, dark lashes against pale skin and plump lips parted in sleep, I realize that I’ve never felt quite like this about anyone. I’ve always known that Noi and I have something special, but I never equated it with romantic love. I thought the shallow feelings I had for girlfriends were closer to what love was supposed to be, which was probably why I wasn’t eager to get into a permanent relationship any time soon.
Leaning in, I press a kiss to his head, lingering a moment to take in the sweet smell of his hair before resting back against the couch, noting every minute change in his expression as he sleeps.
Eventually, Ford and Tao come home from their jobs, and I can feel their questioning glances. They’ve been avoiding me lately because I’ve been such an ass, and I need to apologize, but for now I ignore them.
Scrolling through my phone, I see someone at Rainbow took a video of me and Noi lying on the bed after he filmed his scene and posted it on the website. The comments are all about how cute we are together and speculation on how deep our affection for one another runs.
Tao comes out of the bathroom fresh from a shower and gives me a thumbs up on his way to the kitchen.
Since he told me he saw Noi and P’Wisit holding hands at the movie theater and I stormed out of the apartment, Tao’s been avoiding me. I’ll have to have a talk with him soon and explain what’s been going on.
For now, I just smile and give him a nod.
I turn off the TV and ease out from under Noi before lifting him in my arms and carrying him to my bedroom. Carefully, I strip off his pants, leaving him in his T-shirt and shorts, then I undress myself.
Lying down next to him, I cover us with a blanket. I’m tired, and it doesn’t take me long to drift off. At some point during the night, Noi rolls closer to me, wrapping one leg and one arm around me, his head close to mine on the pillow. I watch him, filled with tender feelings, until my eyes slip shut again.
****
Both Noi and I read the novelHearts Set on Fire. We are well aware the love scene is NC-17. But changes have been made recently, and what we’re looking at today is entirely different from what we looked at two weeks ago.
“BLs are currently pushing the limit,” P’Tee tells us as we prepare to shoot the scene. Our hair and makeup done, Noi and I are wearing robes over our boxer briefs. The staff has been sent away, leaving only two camerapeople, the sound guy, P’Tee, and his assistant. “The producers want to test the waters with the secondary couple.”
Noi and I look at each other.
“Do you think that will be a problem? Do you want P’Arm here?” P’Tee asks.
“I think we’ll be okay,” Noi says, and I nod agreement.
“Okay. We’re picking up mid-scene, just after the dialogue ends,” P’Tee tells us. “After we view the first and second half of the scene together, I’ll decide if I want to refilm the first half.”
He directs the sound guy to move a little to the left of the bed with a wave of his hand before turning to Noi. “Mee Noi. In the interest of being realistic, I want to see some discomfort on your face at first. Not too much, but enough to let the viewers know what’s going on in that moment. I’ll let you know when.”
Ears turning bright red, Noi nods.
“And I want noises. Grunts, groans, moans out of both of you. And I want to see tongue. Otherwise, improvise. I’ll let you know if I want you to do something. Any questions?”
We both shake our heads. “We’re ready,” I say.
“Okay. Just let me talk to the camera crew a minute.” P’Tee gets off the bed where he’s been sitting with us and walks over to the man and woman behind the two cameras.
I meet Noi’s gaze.