I hoped I wouldn’t boil over so quickly.
Cold wind descended from the lake, lifting the collar of Nick’s coat, making his hair flutter, but he stood still with that mean, unforgiving expression on his face.
I walked up to him, coming close enough to receive the first punch.
“What do you want?” he asked.
I ground my teeth. “To hash it out once and for all.”
“One of us is gonna end up in that lake if we do,” he said.
“If you say so,” I replied.
He seemed to grow an inch taller, stretching out his muscles.
“But we don’t have to fight,” I said. “I’m sick of fighting. I’m sick of fucking hating you, Nick, but you’re not making it easy to change my mind.”
Nick shook his head. “Easy to say that now.”
I narrowed my eyes, his words making no sense. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“My brother doesn’t speak to me,” Nick said. Only then did I notice that his eyes were rimmed with red, but still as hateful as ever. “And my…boyfriend, I guess. Yes, that sounds about right. Well, he walked away, too. And now you want to bury the hatchet, huh?”
I frowned. “You had a boyfriend?”
Nick said nothing.
My head shook slowly. “You had a boyfriend, and you were still obsessed with me. No wonder he walked away.”
“It had nothing to do with you,” Nick said spitefully. “He took Seth’s side. I guess that makes sense. They’re roommate. Friends. Not like us, Damon. Not like the guys who can’t keep a friendship alive if the world depended on it.”
Silas? Fuck. It made so much sense now. I’d racked my brain for a week, wondering which of my teammates let it slip, suspecting them all after a semester of seeing Seth around the house. Silas.
“You had a guy, but that wasn’t enough,” I said. “Are you that butthurt over us? You act like we had something, Nick, when there was never anything there. You lost a guy because you can’t get over it.”
Nick took a step back from me, retreating for the first time since we’d fallen out years ago. “I’m so fucking tired of you, Damon.”
“Then let the fuck go,” I said.
Spite flashed in his eyes. “You broke my heart, Damon. You broke my heart because of Seth.”
“We were kids, Nick,” I said, wanting to shake him and maybe throw him into the lake to see if the freezing water would do something to snap him out of it. “We were teenagers. It was never gonna work.”
“You don’t know that,” Nick said. “Besides, that isn’t what matters. You broke up with me that summer. And then I had to watch you two sneak away summer after summer while I stayed behind.”
Yeah. That was true. I wouldn’t have had him near us if my life depended on it. We’d held each other’s hands a few times, kissed now and then, and I’d told him that I didn’t think we should do that anymore because it didn’t feel right. I’d been good, dammit. I’d done the right thing.
“At least I tried,” I said. “I didn’t string you along. I did not cheat on you. I walked away when I felt it was wrong. That is what you wanted, right? Honesty?”
Nick laughed once, a sharp, ugly sound. “You call that honesty.”
“What would you call it?”
“Cowardice,” he said. “You broke up with me because of Seth. You just didn’t have the guts to say it to my face.”
“We were teenagers,” I said. “We were confused. I didn’t even know what I felt yet.”
“You knew enough to sneak off with him,” Nick said. His voice cracked around the words. “Summer after summer. While I stayed home and pretended I didn’t see it.”