Nick looked into my eyes, searching my face for whatever he thought he could read there. There was nothing left in this old husk. I just wanted to sleep.
“If you think I’ll tell you that I was wrong and that you should totally be with Damon, you misunderstood,” Nick said flatly.
“Great. Well, I didn’t. And even if you said it, the world doesn’t revolve around your opinions quite as much as you think.”
Nick graced me with one of his legendary deadpans.
“Seriously,” I said. “Just because you’d be so kind and sweet to bless this union, we’re not just gonna fix the shit you made.”
“Good,” Nick said, leaning in. “Because Damon is not a good guy.”
I rolled my eyes. “Give me a break.”
“He isn’t,” Nick said. “I know him, Seth. I know him better than you do, and I can tell you that he’s as bad as they come. Hell, you have no idea what he was up to since he moved here. There’s nobody he hasn’t slept with. Is that really someone to look up to?”
“Look up to?” I asked, outraged. “Are you fucking serious? He’s not my daddy, Nick. I didn’t ‘look up to’ him. I loved him.” The words tumbled over my lips with the same carelessness that I judged Silas for.
Tears welled in my eyes before I could blink them away.
I’d told these words to Nick before I’d had the chance to tell them to Damon. It was so fucking unfair.
My cheeks burned when the tears spilled from the corners of my eyes. I shook my head furiously and pushed my coffee away.
Nick stared at me in stunned silence. “Love him? Really?”
I swallowed the tightening knot in my throat and shook my head, but halfway through it, it became a nod. “I did. More than I thought I could. Not that you would know what that’s like.”
“I’m sorry, Seth,” Nick said. “I’m sorry that you fell in love with him. And that I had to stop it. But Damon isn’t someone who loves people. He uses them, then tosses them aside.”
“What do you know about anything, Nick?” I whispered. The words that had escaped me still burned before my eyes. I loved Damon, and I’d pushed him away, and he had accepted it just like that.
“What do you think I told him, Seth?” Nick asked. “Do you think I threatened him? Do you think I have power over him? Just the fact that Iknewabout you made him walk away. Damon Pierce doesn’t do relationships. He doesn’t do complications. He’s always been broken, and he’ll stay broken forever.”
I didn’t look at him anymore. I stared at the heart shape in the milk foam in my cup. “That’s not true,” I said. “I broke up with him, not the other way around. I broke up with him because I didn’t want complications. And you are the complication, Nick. You think you know what’s best for everyone. Well, let’s see how that works out for you. But I don’t think I have any reason to ever listen to a thing you say again.”
Nick stiffened. “You don’t mean that.”
Tears still came, damn them. “It’s so stupid, Nick. I broke up with him because I didn’t want to be in this café someday, cutting you off. But I see now that you’re not good for me. You’re just not. You’re my brother, and that can’t change, but I don’t think I like you very much.”
“Seth, you’re being dramatic,” Nick said, but his voice wasn’t so sure anymore. He was scared of something.
I blinked through the tears and looked at the horrified expression on his face. “I’m really not,” I said quietly. “I’m doing the one thing I should have done from the start, Nick. You need to change. Whatever’s broken inside ofyouneeds fixing, or you’ll never be happy. And I’m not the person who can fix it. We’re too close. We know each other too well. We’ve lied to each other too many times.” I nodded, wiped my sweaty palms against my pants, and straightened my back. “I think it’s better if we don’t see each other for some time.” I stood up and took a step back. “I mean this in the best way possible, Nick. You need to do better, or you’ll lose the people who love you.”
The fear was real on his face as I turned away from him and walked out.
A burden had lifted off my chest, though what remained was only an open wound where my heart used to beat. I’d lost a lover and a brother in forty-eight hours. And I didn’t think I was getting either one of them back.
NINETEEN
Damon
I balledmy fists like I was about to throw a punch. Maybe I was. I hoped I wouldn’t, but there was no telling what could happen as I marched after Nick Kane.
I hadn’t seen him in a week. I hadn’t seen him since he’d gotten back at me for the last time.
“Hey,” I shouted, alerting several people strolling up and down the paved path along the lake.
Nick paused, his broad shoulders swaying as he turned around. His gaze locked onto me, sharp eyes burning with emotion, cheeks hollow, and hair disheveled. His face darkened when he recognized me from a distance, and he straightened his back as he braced himself for a fight.