His obsession with talking about his penis ...
My blood runs cold, then simmers in my veins.
‘I don’t ... I mean ... Are you seriously?’ I stammer.
He grins, seeing that I’ve finally cottoned on. ‘I can show you my horns, if that will convince you.’
I lick my dry lips nervously.Oh my god, he’s an actual devil.I know about this scenario from movies and books: a down-on-their-luck nobody sells their soul to the devil. The outcome is always the same: it never ends well for the nobody!
‘I ... I didn’t realise this was actually a thing in real life. Like people get visited by devils.’
‘Not just any devil either,’ Sebastian says proudly. ‘I’m top-level. I have the head honcho’s ear.’
‘Really?’ I say, a little astounded. ‘If you’re so high up in the realm of hell, then why on earth are you bothering withmein the Cat & Cauldron? I’m sure there are much more interesting souls to tempt—wannabe celebrities, for one thing. They’re always looking for beauty, fame, and fortune.’
‘Well ... the thing is, Jade ... um ... It’s a bit difficult for me to admit this...’ Sebastian averts his eyes and seems embarrassed (if supernatural beings can actually feel emotions like that, and I highly doubt it).
‘What? Tell me,’ I order.
‘Um, I may have done a few things under the table and been slightly ... er ... demoted. I’m currently trying to climb my way back up the ladder.’
‘So you’re like a minor devil, not a major one, now?’ I scoff.
‘Something like that. However, I’m working hard...’ he begins earnestly. But the whole thing strikes me as hilarious, and I let out a loud bark of laughter.
‘So you’re posing as a life coach.To get promoted up the devil ranks!’
Sebastian glances quickly around the café. ‘Shhh, keep your voice down. Yes. Look, why don’t we go back to my place, where people can’t hear us and where things will be moreprivate?’ He waggles his eyebrows.
‘Uh-uh. I’m not falling for that one,’ I say. ‘You think you’ll be able to tempt me better if I’m on your turf. My answer is a resounding “no” to this whole ridiculous deal. Go and find someone else to pitch to. No pun intended.’
‘Well, it was worth a try,’ Sebastian says with a sigh. ‘Are you sure you won’t change your mind? You only get one life after all, and yours is pretty shitty right now.’
I shake my head firmly. ‘No thanks.’
‘OK, Jade. So it seems your terrible job and your dowdy flat are preferable to sleeping with me, even though I could bring you to the heights of ecstasy and give you your heart’s desire. FYI, loosely translated, that means I’ll leave you alone. It was nice meeting you.’
Sebastian starts packing his laptop into a leather briefcase; and for a second, I waver, unsure, his words needling at me. Inflaming my desperation.
‘Wait. Can I ... can I think about it?’
He looks at me, considering. ‘Fine,’ he says at last. ‘Since I’m feeling generous, you have six hours to think about it. Call the number on the card if you change your mind.’
The timer on my phone goes off in a sharp series of beeps, and I blink. One minute, I’m sitting in front of the Tube guy of my dreams; the next, I’m alone, facing an empty booth and clutching a devil’s business card.
4
SEBASTIAN
Thesoundofthewoman’s moans echo through my penthouse apartment as two oiled musclemen eat her pussy on the 100-inch flat-screen.
But live porn isn’t doing it for me at this particular moment. Bored, I flip through some other platforms and settle on an explicit vampire movie (fast-forwarding to the good bits). Yet even though bloodplay usually gets me off, my cock remainssoftin my Gucci trousers. It’s weird and a bit concerning. Perhaps it’s because I’m distracted?
I glance at my phone for the twentieth time; it’s been five and a half hours since I gave Jade my ultimatum, and there’s been zilch from her. I’m beginning to lose hope that I can seal the deal. It was a long shot anyway.
Sighing, I attempt to concentrate as a well-endowed vampire sinks his cock into a servant woman, who’s writhing around naked on red silk sheets. He bares his fangs and bites her neck as he pumps into her, and she gasps theatrically as blood spurts out. It’s all laughingly fake, but her bare tits are bouncing aroundenticingly, and my trousers finally stir. I do like big-titted women, but medium-sized ones are fine as well.
I wonder what Jade’s look like. She was petite, but rather curvy—