‘Bloody hell, are you always this forthright?’ Jade splutters, her eyes round as saucers.
‘Only on Tuesdays.’
She lets out a nervous laugh. ‘But it’s Monday.’
‘Ah, then no, I’m not.’
She narrows her eyes, attempting to see my laptop, but I swivel it away from her. ‘Are you sure you’re a life coach?’
I nod. ‘Most definitely.’
‘Lemme see your card,’ she says suspiciously. Whoops, the penis comment was obviously a bit OTT. Dial it back, Burns.
Sliding the silver holder out of my jacket pocket, I open it and give her one of my white business cards. She looks at the black embossed writing.
‘Sebastian Burns, life coach.BETTER THE DEVIL YOU KNOW.’ She gives a derisive snort. ‘Aren’t you supposed to be helping people make changes, not encouraging them to be couch potatoes?’
I sigh. It’s actually a tongue-in-cheek tag line, but I can’t explain the joke as I’ll give myself away.
Slipping the cardholder back into my pocket, I smile mysteriously. ‘All will be revealed in due course.’
‘Right.’
Jade checks the time on her phone, and I suspect I’m losing her. Millennials have such short attention spans.
I slap my laptop shut with a bang, and she jumps at the sound.
‘So let’s begin. Tell me aboutyou, Jade Jameson,’ I purr. ‘What’s happening or not happening in your life?Andmost importantly, how can I help?’
I pin her with a piercing stare, and she simultaneously straightens her spine and blushes as a spark ignites between us. But I’m not surprised. Inspiring fiery passion is my job after all.
Jade chews her bottom lip, looking slightly disconcerted at my unwavering attention. While she’s considering her answer, she toys with a lock of her straight mousy-brown hair. Her face is cute in an unformed kind of way: cheeks round, a light dusting of freckles across the bridge of her nose, but she has a stubborn chin, which could be a problem. My eyes drop lower to see what her boobs are like. But a baggy curry-stained top disguises those particular features. Pity.
My gaze shifts back up to her face to find her still deliberating, as if she’s reluctant to tell me anything.
‘Just a little snippet will do,’ I say in an encouraging tone. ‘Like is something in particular bothering you? Or is it the whole shebang?’
Jade inhales sharply, and her bottom lip wobbles. Oh, OK, I’ve hit the mark there.
‘It’s ... it’s everything,’ she replies quietly. ‘I hate my job. I hate my flat. I basically hate my entire life.’
‘Hmm, that’s a common problem,’ I say, nodding thoughtfully but inwardly clapping my hands in glee. A full admission of misery straight off the bat! This is going to be sooo easy. ‘AndI fully understand. What about friends? You seem like a person who has some close connections.’
She shrugs. ‘My friends are OK. I don’t have like ... a BFF or anything. But I hang out with a few people from work.’
‘No one special?’
Jade shakes her head, no doubt wondering where this is going. Her eyes slide away from mine quickly, and I sense that she’s uncomfortable about revealing she’s single. Or maybe it’s a safety precaution. I am a complete stranger after all, even if I am her wet dream.
I place a hand on the table between us to keep her focus on me, and she stares at it. My hand is large, smooth, tanned, and exactly the kind of long tapered fingers she likes. Yes, Jade, look at my sexy man hand, perfect for caressing your sweet little ...
‘I wasn’t meaning to pry into your love life, Jade,’ I say reassuringly, and she drags her eyes back to my face again. ‘I’m establishing a baseline.’ I inject a note of friendly nonchalance into my tone. What she doesn’t know is that I’m actually establishing if anyone’s going to miss her if she disappears for a week. Two at the most.
‘A baseline?’ she echoes, sounding confused. She glances at her phone again, as if she’s expecting a message, which annoys me. Can’t two people have a conversation without technology interfering? Right, time to cut to the chase.
‘OK, Jade, here’s how my life coaching service works. It’s simple. You give me what I want, and I give you what you want—namely a taster of a better life. If you decide that it’s the life you want, I can pull some strings to make sure it’s yours permanently.’
Jade leans back and folds her arms. I’ve got her full attention now. ‘That sounds really dodgy.’