“Good. Call me if you need anything.”
“Call me ifyouneed anything,” I retort.
“No offense, Cass, but you couldn’t handle putting a band-aid on someone right now. I’ll see you soon.”
She closes the door, and I watch her go up the steps and disappear inside. I watch the hallway windows and see her pass the second floor and then get to the third. When the living room light flicks on, I leave.
I reach Harmon’s house, but I drive past it the first time. The second time, too. And maybe the third…
My anxiety is through the roof. I’m going to have a panic attack. I can’t breathe. But I have to do this. I have to. Because Cammy is right. I can’t keep going on like this. Granted, it’s only been two days, but my emotions are only getting worse, not better. It’s best I go in there and face him. Get answers. This way I can move on.
He’ll be alerted the moment I go through the gate, so I have to be quick. I have to get my head straight, so I don’t walk in there like a bumbling, panicky mess.
Finally, I turn onto his driveway, and the gates open for me when I get close enough. I park in the same spot I always do, right beside his car.
So, he is home. That’s good.
Maybe.
I take a deep breath as I shove the door open and hurry to the front door. I have to do this now or I may not do it at all, butI need to know what’s going on. I need answers. I can’t be kept waiting. Every scenario has gone through my head, and I need answers so I can prepare and figure out how to move forward.
My fingers tremble so badly as I enter the code that I hit the five instead of the four and have to wait for it to reset so I can try again.
It finally beeps, and the mechanical whir of the lock disengaging tells me I’m out of time. It’s now or never.
I twist the knob and push into the house. Harmon is more than halfway down the stairs already, buttoning his suit jacket as if he is on his way out. He doesn’t look my way, just stares forward as he makes his way to the bottom.
I already know something is wrong. I can feel it in the air.
The door is still open behind me and my heart is beating so hard it’s going to come up my throat—probably run out the door because that’s what I want to do right now.
“What’s wrong?” I blurt out, taking a step forward.
There’s a good ten feet between us, and it doesn’t seem he has any intention of coming closer.
No hug. No kiss. No… reaction at all. He’s cold. Distant.
He doesn’t even answer my question.
I force a swallow past the lump in my throat, trying to push away the ringing in my ears.
“Cassius, we need to talk,” he finally says, his gaze not on me though. He walks to the door, closing it, then turning to face me, but still, he won’t look at me. At least not in the eyes.
“Yeah, no shit,” I bark out. “What the hell is going on?”
He clears his throat, staring straight ahead.
“This was a mistake.”
I almost fall to the floor with those words, but I swear it’s my anger that’s keeping me up.
“What?”
He doesn’t answer, but I know what he’s saying.
I was a mistake. Choosing me was a mistake. Wanting morewith mewas a mistake.
“You can’t really mean that.”