Duh? Who the hell says duh?
I’m a highly respected lawyer with more letters after my name than the alphabet, and I go with duh.
Fucking asshole.
I seem to be regressing as I approach forty, but somehow her sparkling energy and whirlwind of fun make me feel years younger. I’m certainly acting like I am.
Idiot.
Sapphire
Anyway… I was thinking of this as an option for the retreat and I wanted to get your opinion…
My nerves are on edge as I wait for her to send through her retreat suggestion and when she does, I hold my breath and click on the link.
“Nudist retreat,” I read aloud, my eyes popping out of my head in horror.
Oh.
My.
Fucking.
God.
A notification pops up at the top of my screen when she sends a follow-up message.
Sapphire
It’s in the Arctic.
Is she fucking kidding? I swipe up from the bottom of my cell phone screen to return to the link and fume at myself for believing her.
Me
It’s in Palm Springs.
Sapphire
Oops, sorry, that’s the resort I’m going to next year… I meant to send this one…
Me
What the fuck? You’re going to a nudist resort? Who with?
Is that what she does in her spare time?
Maybe she was serious about us both going to a nudist retreat. No way. Not ever. I’d rather suck on a blue-ringed octopus and die a horrific, lung-collapsing, paralyzing death than go.
Sapphire
Forget I mentioned it. Here’s the correct link…
If she doesn’t deny she is going to a nudist retreat, I might fucking lose it. Is she going with Kai? Will she be naked? For the whole weekend?
This is too much for me, and I’m totally unraveling.
Me