14
I have a split personality.The thought was abrupt, but as it dropped into Dante’s crowded brain, it made room for itself. Put roots down and made sense. In any case, it was the only explanation he could think of for the sullenness tethering him to the chair in the waiting room outside Rami Stone’s office.I felt so light when I left Sid. Why do I want to die right now?
Dramatic? Perhaps. But Dante had always been a morbid motherfucker, it was the lightness that was new. The smiling. The laughter. The out-of-body orgasm in the woods with Sid’s mouth on his cock.
Sid.
Yup. That would do it. Dante reckoned he could raise a smile from the saddest soul. The moodiest heart. Even the nastiest bastards Dante had ever known, and there’d been lots.
Dante closed his eyes and tried to take himself back to Sid’s kitchen, where the morning sun had beaten down on his shoulders while Sid had taken him apart with quiet questions, soft smiles, and gentle hands. Dante had been a good man then, with good thoughts and good intentions, but he’d left that man at the bus stop, if he’d ever existed at all.
Scowling, he met the gaze of the woman at the desk who’d corrected his request to see his probation officer.“Your offender manager is running late with his appointments. Take a seat and stay there until your name is called.”
Bitch. Wow. The word felt acidic in Dante’s mouth. He couldtastethe venom it came with, and the heartless piece of shit attached to the big fat file on Rami’s desk enjoyed it. Revelled in it. Street talk bubbled up his throat as he shot the woman a dead-eyed stare and imagined how easy it would be to fuck her life up. He’d done worse for less.
That was a long time ago. You’re different now.But what did time really mean? Did it change a person? Or simply take them from one circumstance and drop them into another? Dante had been a bad person his entire adult life. A couple of months in a nice place—with the nicest person in the world—didn’t change that. It couldn’t—it made no sense.
“Dante?” A low, London voice cut through Dante’s thoughts, though it was smoother than his own. He followed the sound and found Rami in front of him, an iPad tucked under his arm and a concerned frown creasing his face. “Are you ready? I’ve called your name a few times.”
Dante frowned and glanced at the woman at the desk again. She was no longer looking at him, her attention derailed by another offender. “I didn’t hear you.”
“I can see that. Come with me.” Rami straightened and pointed at the corridor Dante assumed he’d come from.
Sighing, Dante hauled himself to his feet and preceded Rami to a closed door ten feet away. Rami gestured for him to open it and go inside.
Dante shook his head. “You first.”
“Don’t trust me, Dante?”
Dante said nothing. What was the point? RamiknewDante had been jumped in the showers in HMP Manchester. Knew he’d had his head kicked in more times than he had fingers and that somewhere in the dark depths of Dante’s fucked-up brain, it wasn’t enough.I deserved it.They should’ve killed me.
“Come inside, Dante,” Rami called from his desk. “We can have a chaperone if you’re not comfortable with me, but we need to have this meeting, okay? It’s part of the sentence plan you signed.”
Dante stepped robotically into the room and shut the door behind him. The temptation to lean on it and survey his surroundings was strong, but he forced himself forward and sank into the vacant chair.
Rami eyed him, his sharp gaze like ants on Dante’s skin. “How are you doing? Is everything okay?”
Dante nodded. “It’s fine.”
“Sure about that? You don’t seem as upbeat as when I last saw you.”
“Upbeat?” Dante contained a sneer. Barely. “Who the fuck are you talking about?”
“It’s a relative term,” Rami said. “Upbeat for you is likely different to someone else. We can pick a different word if you like, but it would be easier if you just talk to me.”
“About what?”
“About how you’re getting on. It’s my job to know.”
Dante kicked his legs out in front of him. “I’m fine.”
“How’s the job?”
“Good.”
“And the social side? Have you made some friends?”
Yes. One. The best friend I’ve ever had. And I want to fuck him too. Write that shit down.Dante sighed.“It ain’t school, mate.”