“Really? Even after they stole your fish?”
“What? Oh. That was one rogue orca. The rest of them are pretty cool.”
“Phew. They were my favorite too until they made you late.”
I’m going to hell. I lied to Finnandslandered my favorite animal. “I’m glad we cleared that up then. The good orcas usually come hang out with us after it gets a little colder, but if I see any, I’ll tell them you say hi.”
“Wow! That’s so cool.”
“Right? Have a great day, Finny. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
My smile fades as soon as I hang up, but I’m proud of myself for finally talking about Seb, even if it was only for a few minutes, and the only person I talked to was a five-year-old. If Finn can talk about Seb, I sure as hell better do it too.
I push the throttle forward and pick up the radio mic. “Harbormaster, this is theBriar Anteros.Permission to enter?”
“Harbormaster here. Permission granted.” His mic clicks off, then back on. “Welcome back,Briar Anteros. Sorry foryour loss.”
My chest pinches with a mix of shock and grief, like someone jumped out from behind a corner to remind me that my brother died, instead of shoutingboo.
In Seattle, our tragedy blended in with all the other boats in Fishermen’s Terminal, but the crab fishing fleet is vanishingly small, and in Dutch Harbor, we might as well be sharing a pond. The entire fleet helped search for Seb. Losing him was probably hard on them too. That should be a comfort, but it’s not. I didn’t prepare myself for an onslaught of condolences.
“Thanks.” I hang up the mic with more force than necessary.
“What did that radio ever do to you?” Morgan says.
I jump. “How long have you been listening?”
“Why? What clandestine conversations are you having with the harbormaster?”
“Haha,” I deadpan.
He saunters across the wheelhouse, and wedges himself in the small space on my right between the chair and the window. His decadent scent trails toward me as he crosses his arms, framing his pecs and emphasizing his biceps.
My cheeks heat. I haven’t been alone with him since that night he spit in my mouth. For the record, I wasn’t trying to tease him. I wanted to take care of his needs, show him my gratitude with no strings attached, connect with him any way I can.
“So what did the harbormaster say to make you so flustered?”
“I’m not flustered because of him.”
He arches a brow. “Oh?”
I walked right into that one, and I’m walking right back out of it.
“He told me he was sorry for our loss. I can’t be around that.” That, as in people in mourning, people pitying me. I glance at the photo of Seb on the beam, and steer my gaze back to the ocean. “I can’t talk about what happened, and I don’t know how I’m supposed to act around you in front of them.”
He sighs. “You’ll probably have to talk to some of them, unfortunately, but you won’t have to do it alone.” He bites hisbottom lip and muses. “No one up here knows we’re separated.” He grimaces. “Unless Lawrence ran his mouth.”
“He wouldn’t.”
“Alright, while we’re in Dutch, we’ll keep to theBriar, but when we can’t avoid talking to outsiders, I’ll be right by your side as your husband.”
I hold my breath, fighting off butterflies. Is he saying what I think he is?
“Then we can go back to our estrangement once we leave Dutch. Sound good?”
My butterflies die all at once.