She wanted to live out a story of her own.
She wanted to feel something.
Her fingertips explored the strong calluses of his hands, and everything that she had spent days trying to convince herself of fell away.
Sitting there beside him, her knee resting against his tree trunk of a leg, her arm absorbing the warmth of his, felt right in a way that she couldn’t talk herself out of anymore. She didn’t want to.
She melted towards him, drawn to the warmth of his skin and the pleasant sawdust smell that clung to his clothes.
But Kekoa didn’t bend. He sat straight as a plank, frozen in place.
Then her nose brushed the skin of his neck, and he jumped to his feet.
Laurie gaped at him, as startled and disoriented as if he had just yanked a rug out from under her.
“What are you doing?” His voice, low as a distant thunderstorm, came through clearly even without her hearing aids on.
He had the lowest, most resonant voice she had ever heard. She could hear it – could understand it – better than any other voice that she knew. It came through so clear that it seemed to bypass her ears and cut straight to her core.
Laurie loved his voice.
But her thoughts were so muddled that she couldn’t find her own.
She rose to her feet and moved towards him, seeking that cozy warmth she had felt all through her body just a moment before – but again, he stepped back.
“I thought…” She trailed off.
Whathadshethought?
Nothing, really.
For once, she had been operating on pure feeling instead of thinking things through.
“I don’t want to be your rebound, Laurie.” His voice was low and tightly controlled.
“Rebound?” she repeated. Her cheeks burned with a sudden embarrassment. “It’s been a year!”
“Yeah. And you haven’t been on a single date.”
She gaped at him.
“I can’t be your first fling after a twelve-year marriage,” he said, not meeting her eyes. “You mean too much to me.”
“What are you trying to say? You like me too much to be with me?”
Right, he replied.
“That doesn’t make any sense!”
“Laurie, I love you.” His voice was low and intense, and he accompanied the words with signs.
Again she reached for him, and again he stepped away.
I don’t understand,she signed in frustration.
“I can handle just being your friend. But if we were more than that, and it didn’t work out… I don’t think I could go back to being friends. It would hurt too much.”
Laurie wrapped her arms around herself, wishing that he would just hold her.