“North Carolina, you were going to propose?” He nods, splitting my heart and my soul wide open. “You still would have proposed after everything, after finding out about Akio?”
“I think it would have taken some time but yes,” he says softly, bracketing his hands around my face. And I know with every fiber of my being this is the man I’m supposed to spend my life with. I think I’ve known it since I was 17. Kai, my oldestfriend, the love of my life. The father of my child and keeper of my heart.
The only man that could worship my soul.
“And you kept it all this time?” I wonder, staring back into his onyx eyes, at my future, atforever. And it looks pretty damn good.
“I was waiting for you to come to your senses and find your way back to me. I knew it was only a matter of time.”
Tears are streaming down my face, hard and fast now.
“I would have said yes, you know, in North Carolina. And if you asked, I would marry you tomorrow,” I choke out through strangled sobs.
“What about today?” he asks, tears in his eyes.
I launch myself into his arms, knocking him over and we land on the floor with a mixture of laughter and tears. My hair falls in a curtain around his face and I start kissing him everywhere. His cheeks, his eyelids, his chin, his forehead, his lips. Any and every part of him I can get my hands on.
“Do you have any idea how much I love you, Kai Matsumoto? It’s unquantifiable. The limit does not fucking exist. I am so stupidly, hopelessly, irrevocably in love with you. I always have been. And I don’t want to spend another day of this life not married to you.”
“Is that a yes?” he laughs.
“It’s a hell yes.” We’re kissing again. It’s frantic and demanding, hungry and hot. But before it goes any further, Kai’s body stills as he pulls away from me.
“Wait wait,” he says, his hands falling to my waist. “I had a whole speech planned. I wanted to ask you properly,” he declares.
“Okay,” I respond, sitting back on my heels. “Go for it, let’s hear it.” I grin. Because it doesn’t really matter what his speech is. It’s always been him for me. He could have proposed with thesame ring pop he gave to me in third grade and I still would have said yes. But it means so much that he wants to get this moment perfect for me.
“Can you sit back down on the bed? I’m going to do this right,” he explains, getting down on one knee and taking the open box in his palm. I obey his request and stare at him in anticipation.
“Kendall, I have loved you since I was fifteen. You said once that you thought we’d have a long love story, with twists and turns and ups and downs that will lead us to forever. And you were right because of course you were. There is no version of my life that is better without the both of you in it. I want you and him to have the life and love you have always deserved and I hope that you want that with me. You are my forever, my everything. Will you finally come home for good and marry me?”
Will you finally come home for good?
Somehow, these words are sweeter, more important, moreeverythingthan anything he has ever said before.
I whisper “yes” over and over, kissing him through tears. He slips the ring on my finger and it’s a perfect fit.
It’s just an ordinary moment during an ordinary day. It’s not over the top or flashy. It’s not Instagram worthy and doesn’t need to be. It wasn’t planned or executed flawlessly. It feels raw, honest, and real, just like us. The result of fate, timing, resilient love, and my obsessive need to stay on top of the laundry.
I realize, probably too late, or perhaps right on time, that for all the regular, mundane that is my life,heis the thing that makes it extraordinary. Kai is my once in a lifetime type of love.
Love that feels like home.
***
Later,we’recuddledupin bed together, my head resting on myfiancéschest.
“I forgot to ask you after all the excitement, how did the interview go?”
He turns to me, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “It went really well. I should find out in a week or so. But I think I got it.”
“That’s amazing, baby! I’m so proud of you!” I squeal and I am. He’s been networking, talking to previous coaches, doing a ton of interview prep for months, and it has clearly paid off. He interviewed for a few assistant coaching positions, both college and professional, but this one is a head coaching position for a growing NHL team. I know this is the only one he truly wants. But he doesn’t seem super enthusiastic about this news.
“Yeah it is,” he half smiles.There’s something he’s not telling me.
“But…” I press. For a long time, Kai had been so easy to talk to about his feelings, thoughts, fears. Ever since last June, getting him to open up has felt like pulling teeth.
“But what?”