“And you soundsoprofessional at the moment,” I snapped as I buttoned up my jeans.
“Hmm, maybe not, but believe it or not, it’s confirmed my theory,” he said and then grinned when I opened my mouth to do exactly what I was sure he was expecting. Which, instead of giving him the satisfaction of knowing I was going to ask him what his theory was, I snapped my mouth shut and scowled.
“I’m not…worried about that,” I muttered, knowing that while it wasn’t a lie, it wasn’t exactly the truth either. “And spare me the bullshit, alright?”
“According to you, all I do is bullshit,” he said with a shrug. “At least with your attitude, that is. So what kind of specific bullshit should I be sparing you?”
“Anymore bullshit about health problems not being caught, I know that already. And I don’t need to hear that doctors are professionals and not trying to do any weird shit when they’re checking me out, I know that. And I don’t need to have my ‘masculinity’ comforted by telling me it’s not gay, it’s a medical procedure. I know that,andI’m not worried if someone thinks I’m gay.”
He stared at me for a few heartbeats before nodding. “Okay, you’re well-informed, secure in your sexuality and manliness…so why aren’t you getting it done?”
“I’m sorry, do I have to explain everything to you? Or am I allowed some privacy after being poked and prodded? Do I get any secrets?”
He grinned, tilting his head before shaking it. “I’ll leave that as an internal thought.”
I scowled. “No, now you gotta say it.”
“Do I?”
“Just fucking say what stupid shit flashed through your head. I still need to figure out how stupid you’re willing to be, so consider this information I can use.”
“I was going to say that you still have your privacy because you kept your underwear on, though considering how little that underwear hid, maybe you don’t have that many secrets left.”
I stared at him. “I’m sorry, what?”
He laughed. “Off-color joke. Don’t worry, I’ll find a way to get to the others too. Make sure everyone knows I’m not afraid to rile them up.”
“Don’t talk about Jake’s dick like that,” I grumbled. “Fucking idiot would probably enjoy it and end up switching teams for the sheer fun of it.”
“Jake strikes me as the kind of man to fuck around with another guy, call it a ‘bro job’ and act as if that wasn’t the gayest fucking thing he’d done,” Colin chuckled.
To my surprise, I laughed. “That…sounds like him.”
If I was surprised by my laugh, Colin looked completely startled before he recovered, clearly proud of himself as he grinned. “I’ve met the type.”
I wondered if Jake or anyone here was specificallyhistype. Before I could even flirt with the idea of touching that subject, my phone buzzed, and I pulled it out as it buzzed again. Frowning, I opened the text message and scowled as I read my soon-to-be-ex-wife’s text. It was about what I would have expected if I’d realized who it was texting me, bitter, antagonistic, and meanspirited as she reminded me of not only the upcoming court date, but that using my lawyer to talk to hers wasn’t going to spare me from having to deal with her personally.
“Damn, I thought you looked angry when you first saw me, but that is…pissed,” he said.
I would have taken his head off for the comment, but there wasn’t a trace of humor in his voice as I shoved my phone away. “It’s?—”
“This part of the reason your blood pressure is the highest it’s ever been?”
“I’m…getting divorced.”
“Ah, well, I’m going to take the same approach to that news as I would to someone sharing they’re pregnant or their other half is…is this congratulations news or the I’m sorry kind?”
I eyed him, not sure why I was bothering to explain myself. “If she and I had any sense, we would have got divorced three years ago, if not sooner. Instead, we waited until I couldn’t stand the sight of her and she hated me with every inch of her being. So it’s neither, because we’re just?—”
“Too busy fighting and hating each other to move on with your lives?” he guessed.
I looked at him in surprise. “Y-yeah, actually.”
“Been there, done that,” he said with a shrug. “Not marriage, thank fucking God. Ending a relationship can be hell on wheels as it is without adding in the courts and all the legal bullshit that comes with a divorce. Does…anyone else here know?”
“Cait,” I said, and glared. “And don’t you go telling anyone else either. They’ll figure it out, eventually.”
“Uh-huh, and how long did it take for them to even know you were married?”