Jason smiles. “I don’t think it’s the books. You’re getting older, and you want different things than you used to. The meaningless partying gets old after a while, even for you.”
My friends know me as the clown; the one who fools around and has fun, but never settles down. Sure, I can be a bit wild, and okayfine, I’ve woken up in an empty apartment without my clothes or any recollection of how I got there, and had to cover my dick with a McDonald’s paper bag while I walk-of-shamed home. But seeing my friends find unconditional love makes me wonder if that’s in the cards for someone like me. I play it off with lighthearted jesting, but I think about it more often than I care to admit.
I felt true love once, and I don’t think I’ll ever get that feeling back.
Not for anyone else.
Jason clinks his bottle against mine. “The right one will come to you when he or she is meant to.”
I glance over my shoulder as Jeff walks the strawberry drinks over to Kellerman’s booth. When four sets of eyes glare at me from across the bar, I blow them a kiss for good measure.
Two of them flip us off, while a third shakes his head, clearly not as amused as I am.
I expect Kellerman to fly out of his seat and mouth off to me, or come knock me off my stool. I’m itching for it. He gets under my skin—always has since the moment we met—and I’m ready for a fight.
But he simply raises the glass with the yellow umbrella sticking out of it in cheers, and takes a big gulp.
Jason chuckles under his breath. “Feel better now that you fucked with him?”
Not quite.
“Come on. Let’s get out of here and call it a night.” Jason throws down cash on the bar. “I promise, we’ll convince the guys to come out with us next time.”
I shake my head. “You go. I’m gonna stay for another beer.”
Jason steals another glance over his shoulder. “You sure that’s a good idea?”
“I’ll be fine.” I clap him on the shoulder. “Go enjoy your hot threesome sex.”
He flashes me a grin. “You know I will.”
After Jason leaves, I chat with Jeff until I drain my third beer. I pay for a round of drinks for everyone in the bar along with my tab, and then I head out the back door.
I don’t make it more than two feet before I’m shoved from behind.
I stagger forward and then whirl around. “What the?—”
A fist connects with my jaw before I can get my hands up. When I regain my footing, my eyes lock with the man who sucker-punched me.
Dark eyes flash with malice. “Just wanted to say thanks for the drink, asshole.”
I lift my hand and wipe the blood dripping from the corner of my mouth as I grin. “I knew you wouldn’t be able to sit there and take it like a man, Kellerman. Which is surprising, because I remember youtaking itso well.”
His fists clench at his sides. “Fuck you.”
“Right here in the alley?” I hike a shoulder. “I’m down.”
He throws another punch, but I dodge it this time.
I spin him around, yanking him by his hoodie, and press him against the brick building to hold him in place. “Why do you bother with this every time we cross paths, hmm? You punch me, and I punch you, but it only leaves us frustrated and wanting more.”
He shoves me back a few steps. “The only thing Iwantis to wipe that smug look off your face.”
I laugh before spitting blood onto the street. “We both know that’s not the only thing you want. You used to beg for it. Do you remember that? I bet you do. I bet you think about the things we did all the time.”
Kellerman swings and I let him punch me.
“The way you’d moan around my dick in your mouth?—”