I shook my head and walked over to give him a hug. "I love you too, D. Just to let you know—I'll be here for you when you meet her."
"It's not going to happen, Faith. Stop trying to force the subject."
"I'll be fine, D, no matter what I choose to do with Kill or any other man."
"Faith, don't ruin this family. Don't ruin yourself after all you went through," D hissed, moving closer until our toes were touching.
“D,” Kill said from behind him.
D stiffened but didn’t move away from me. “We were just talking.” D rolled his eyes as Kill pushed in front of me.
Kill's kind eyes were more green than blue and filled with fear and anger. Van was next to Kill, but all I was focused on was Kill’s face.
When he realized I was fine, he hugged me to his chest, putting his chin on the top of my head. I inhaled deeply, taking in the clean scent that was Kill’s and Kill’s alone.
I could practically see the apology poised to leave D's lips. I gave him a hug, after which I raised my hand so he could shake it.
“Friends?”
He stared at my palm and for a moment I didn’t think he would take it. When he finally relented, his grip was firm, and I could tell there was a battle going on inside his head.
"Remember, I'll be there for you, D. You're going to find her," I told his back as he walked toward the backyard.
"It's not going to happen, Faith. I won't try to interfere with your search for your fairytale anymore. Iwillsay I told you so when it goes badly though."
Van moved to go after him, but I grabbed his arm and held him back. Kill stared at me, most likely trying to figure out what was happening. Whatever he was pondering, I wasn’t about to give him time to figure it out.
“You need to go talk to D.”
Disbelief registered on Kill's face, but then he nodded, realizing it was long overdue. He kissed the top of my head before disappearing into the backyard.
“So, sis, what the hell is going on between you and my bandmates?” I laughed at Van before returning to the couch. Van followed me and waited for an answer.
“Nothing.”
Van cocked his eyebrow at me, and I rolled my eyes, trying to figure out what to tell him.
“Where's Jet?” I asked, procrastinating.
“He’s teaching guitar lessons to one of the kids Amy tutors. He hated being away from her, so he started tagging along. One of her kids recognized him and asked if he would teach him the basics. Now, spill.”
“Honestly, I just realized how jaded and scared D is about life in general. We finally had the talk we should’ve had awhile ago. I needed him to stop putting Kill, or any other guy I happen to be around, down.”
"What did he say? Does he have a thing for you?"
"Nope, I asked him straight out if he did. He said he doesn't believe in romantic love. His mom hardened his heart. It all came down to him not wanting me to rock the boat of our little family by attempting something he feels will inevitably end badly." I kept my mouth shut about his thoughts on Van's failing relationship with Jessie.
“He'll figure it out when he finds someone he has a spark with. Now, what about Kill?”
What about Kill?
My mind went into overload. Memories blasted through my head. Kill's lips pressed firmly over mine as his tongue entered my mouth, hot and ready. The way he’d let me grind on him until I reached an incredible orgasm on my birthday... Van cleared his throat, and I blushed deeply.
“I can’t really answer that question, because I don’t know how.”
We locked eyes for a long time, and I had to work not to fidget under his stare.
“You two are dumbasses, but you'll figure it out soon enough.” He began channel surfing, letting his words of wisdom pierce my mind.
I curled up on the couch to watch some mindless TV, all the while wondering what D and Kill were talking about. I couldn’t interpret anything from their faces when they came in later. Kill sat next to me and pulled my legs onto his lap, and even though I’d slept for much of the day, I drifted off to sleep.
Kill carried me to bed, where I fell asleep immediately. When Kill climbed in beside me later that night, I didn’t have the energy to ask him about their conversation.