He wanted to give himself time to deal with Jessica if he had to.
Who was he kidding? He would definitely have to deal with Jessica. He wanted to make it clear that they were over, that they’d been over for a while, before he did anything else.
“Let me get up and make you some coffee while you shower,” Lee said, still morning-fuzzy.
Drew kissed him quickly, then rose and headed for the shower. In so many ways, he couldn’t believe this was his life now. He’d had full on sex with a man and it had been the best he’d had in years. He liked that man to the point where he wished the two of them could spend the day, the week, the indeterminate amount of time going forward together, laughing and talking and getting to know each other. But he had to get to a television production set so he could star in a big-budget show alongside actors who had been celebrated in the business for years.
Was this really his life?
It was wild that the best part of it was the man who stood at his kitchen counter, fixing coffee in nothing but a pair of sweatpants, his hair standing up at odd angles.
“I can drive you back to your apartment once you’ve had your coffee,” Lee said, handing a mug over with a smile once Drew joined him in the kitchen.
Drew took the mug, his eyes popping wide. “You own a car?”
“Of course I own a car,” Lee laughed. “I’m going to need it to drive down to my mum’s house in Kent later.”
“You have a mom in Kent?” Drew continued his teasing surprise, feeling warm down to his toes, even before he took a sip of the excellent coffee.
Lee laughed. “I do, in fact, have a mum in Kent.” He grabbed his own mug from the counter, then leaned back against it, watching Drew with sparkling eyes and a flush on his cheeks as he took a sip. He grew more serious when he said, “It’s my brother Dan’s birthday on Tuesday. The first one since he passed. Mum and I are having a little birthday and life celebration this afternoon, though it’ll mostly be tears and heartache.”
“I’m so sorry,” Drew said, turning to lean against the counter by Lee’s side. More than anything, he wanted to offer to be there for Lee, to support him in what had to be a painful time. He wanted to hug him and ask him more about his brother and be a sounding board, in case Lee needed it. But as much as he wanted to jump ahead in their relationship, whatever it was now, he had to pace himself. They didn’t really know each other that well yet.
“It was always going to suck,” Lee sighed, cradling his coffee mug and staring into space for a moment. “Cancer is a cunt.”
“Yes, it is,” Drew agreed. He had a few distant family members who had struggled with it, and an uncle who had died of lung cancer, but no one as close as a brother.
The mournful moment was not what he’d expected as the two of them stood side by side, drinking their coffee, but in an odd way, it did more to bring them together than all the sex in the world could have.
Well, maybe. Drew was still very interested in exploring things between the sheets with Lee. It sucked that that would have to wait for another day.
While Lee went to get dressed so he could drive him back to the apartment, Drew checked his phone. Unsurprisingly, Jessica had texted around midnight the night before, asking when he was coming home. He took a deep breath and decided not to reply to the message. He would deal with it face to face in less than an hour anyhow.
“Ready?” Lee asked, coming out of his bedroom fully dressed and groomed and heading straight for the table where he’d left his keys.
“Just one more thing,” Drew said, putting his empty coffee cup in the sink and his phone in his back pocket before crossing the room to Lee. Once he reached him, he cupped the side of Lee’s stubbly face and kissed him, surprising himself with how free that kiss was. “Thank you,” he said once he pulled back. “For a hell of a lot of things.”
Lee’s smile was soft and sweet, yet somehow still managed to fire Drew up. “Any time,” he said, then turned to open the door.
The cozy, sexy feelings of the night lasted through the quiet car ride, right up to the gate of the apartments, where Lee dropped Drew off.
“You sure you don’t need me to stick around in case there’s trouble?” Lee asked, half joking.
Drew laughed, although it didn’t feel like the time for jokes at all. “I’m a big boy,” he said. “I can handle this on my own.”
“Yes, you are, and yes, you can,” Lee said with just enough innuendo to have Drew smiling again.
He wasn’t quite brave enough to lean over and kiss Lee goodbye. There could be paparazzi anywhere, and even though the world believed he and Lee were dating, his true feelings and the real nature of whatever was growing between him felt way too personal for him to share it with the world yet.
Still, it was harder than he’d thought it would be to get out of the car and walk away from the one person he wanted to be with just then.
It was even harder when he let himself into his apartment and found the lights on, the TV playing some morning news program at a low volume, and Jessica asleep on the couch, still in the clothes she’d had on the night before.
Drew set his keys in the dish on a table beside the door and took a deep breath, rubbing a hand over his face. Nothing that was about to happen was going to be pretty, but he would do the best he could to be open, honest, and to minimize the damage.
He started by shrugging out of his leather jacket, draping it over a chair, and gingerly sitting on the edge of the couch by Jessica’s legs.
“Jessica,” he said softly, resting a hand on her calf and shaking it a little. “Hey, Jess.”