What had come over him? At first, he’d simply wanted to make sure Zinn was okay. He’d been registering the omega’s thickening scent all day. It had driven him crazy to the point where he kept needing to palm his aching cock. When he walked into the office fifteen minutes ago—Stars!It was like being knocked over by a tornado.
He’d wanted to rip off Zinn’s pants, bend him over the couch, and give the man exactly what his body craved. Thankfully, Ked’s presence had forced him to gather his restraint.
But then Zinn started talking about how he planned to give himself to a stranger, and Calder’s body had a primal reaction.
He hadn’t planned it. Hadn’t thought about it. Had never seriously considered that he’d share a heat with an omega again. Not after losing Denni.
The unfiltered words had tumbled from his mouth without permission.
Why didn’t you ask me?
But even as his mind swam with the implications, his inner alpha vibrated with satisfaction.
Zinn didn’t need to settle for the less-invested touch of a random man. Calder would see him through his heat.
“Ask you?” Zinn finally hushed out.
At the omega’s shocked face, the last vestiges of Calder’s indecision evaporated.
“Yes,” Calder said, a hint of formality in his tone. “You just said you didn’t have any alpha friends to help you, but we both know that isn’t true.”
“You?”
“Am I that repulsive?”
“No! Of course not.”
“Then is it so unimaginable?” Calder put his hand back on Zinn’s knee. His alpha affirmed therightnessof the gesture. “I’m your boss, Zinn, but we’re also friends. I think I’ve proven that I…care…about you, that I have your best interests at heart. That’s why you trusted me when I hired you, and when I suggested learning cake decorating. And why you’re so at ease with Jordie and Ked.”
“You have been great to me. And I love your boys. I just never thought…”
“Didn’t you? I know you’ve felt it too, thechangebetween us these past few months.” Calder brushed the dyed brown strands of Zinn’s hair off his forehead. “I realize there’s a lot I don’t know about you. Things you obviously want to stay hidden.” His fingers drifted over the mole on Zinn’s face—he’d only recentlystopped covering it—and down the shell of his ear before massaging the lobe between his thumb and forefinger.
“Calder,” Zinn whispered, closing his eyes.
“I’m not asking for your secrets. Or your confessions. I don’t need details about your past to understand that you and I have two years of history, no matter what happened before, and if you’ll let me, I’d like to help you.”
“I don’t know.” Shuddering even as he protested, Zinn leaned into Calder’s touch.
“I understand that you are strong and independent. I admire you for it. And I’m not trying to control you or take away your power. I’m saying that the past two years have not been for nothing. Let me do this. You don’t have to rely on someone you don’t know.”
Zinn shook his head, capturing Calder’s hand against his cheek before placing it firmly back in Calder’s lap.
“Cap, that’s just it. The point of using the service is that it’s not personal. More like…transactional.”
“But why? You’re talking about taking someone inside your body. Having him see you through your delirium, not to mention the rest of your heat. What I’m suggesting is commonplace. Lots of single omegas utilize alpha friends.”
“That’s not the issue. You said it yourself. I’ve got a past I don’t talk about. There are memories I want to forget. Like my last three heats. They were terrible experiences. Not just bad, but truly horrendous. This will be the first time I’ve gotten to decide what I want for myself. Using a service is impersonal, but at least I get to dictate the terms.”
Calder didn’t know where to begin his response. Obviously, he was curious about Zinn’s past heats. He also hadn’t missed that this upcoming heat would be Zinn’s fifth, so he apparently wasn’t lumping his first one into theterrible experiencecategory. Why? Had he once had an alpha he trusted? Loved?
But Calder knew the proud omega wouldn’t give him those details if he asked. He focused instead on Zinn’s stated concern.
“Do you think if I helped you that I would try to control you?” he asked. “Because I wouldn’t. I respect your autonomy. Whatever agreements you made with the service and with the other alpha, I would honor them as well.”
Zinn’s pulse ticked in his neck. “You shouldn’t say that until you’ve actually thought it through more.”
“You don’t trust me to keep my word?”