The sticking point for Zinn had been an ironclad agreement that, if their coupling resulted in pregnancy, the alpha surrendered all parental rights. Dr. Shey believed Zinn’s body was overdue for proper relief and had recommended they not use condoms, meaning there was a fifty-fifty likelihood of pregnancy, since half of all heats ended up being breeding heats.
Zinn hoped for a non-breeding heat, but if he did end up pregnant, he wanted to have all the decision-making power as to what came next, including the choice to potentially be a single father.
In previous generations, single omega fathers may have been met with society’s scorn, but the world was changing fast, and now plenty of omegas successfully parented children alone. Mostly they were widowers or divorced, but there were a few pioneers who intentionally chose single fatherhood.
“Let me get this straight—” Calder stood abruptly. “You’re going to share your heat with an alpha you’ve never met before?”
He paced across the small office, his deepening scent invading Zinn’s nose.
“I’ve never met him in person, that’s true. But we spoke over video for almost an hour, and he’s been thoroughly evaluated. The service has an excellent reputation.”
Calder stopped moving, directing a laser gaze at Zinn. “But are you… Are you…” He flailed his arms around. “You’re sure you want to do this?”
Under other circumstances, Zinn might have been annoyed by Calder’s prying. Or his judgy tone. But he understood it was his radiating pre-heat hormones that made the alpha sopushy.
Zinn choked out a laugh. “I don’t really have a choice, cap. I’ll spare you the gory details and just say that professional betas and fun toys won’t cut it. Not according to my doctor. It’s gotta be the real deal…hence, heat service.”
Calder’s mouth dropped open. “Are you saying that you’ve never shared a heat with an alpha? You’re twenty-seven, so this will be, what, your fourth heat?”
“Fifth,” Zinn muttered. “And I’ve been with—I’ve shared a heat with an alpha before.” He refused to let the memories overtake him, nor the inevitable emptiness that followed whenever he thought of Valentin. If he allowed himself to brood on it, he wouldn’t be able to do what needed to be done. “But it’s been a long time, which is why I have to be taken care of by an alpha now.”
“An alpha you’ve never met in person.”
“That’s how it works.”
Calder sat again. He covered his face with his palms.
And said nothing.
Before the silence could suffocate them, Zinn continued, “Welp, you have the whole plan now. Based on my symptoms today, I’ll be calling in soon. Probably within the week. And I promise not to inconvenience you more than I already have.”
“Stop!” Calder commanded. Zinn flinched. “Sorry, sorry.” The alpha’s voice softened. “I didn’t mean to get loud. But I guess I’m just trying to understand.”
Zinn’s irritation grew. Calder apparently couldn’t imagine what it was like to be an omega, having to make tough decisions.Zinn didn’t have friends or family. Being that vulnerable with a stranger wasn’t something he wanted to do. But what other option did he have? Calder might be his boss, but that didn’t give him the right to look down on Zinn’s choices.
“What exactly do you need to understand?” he asked testily. “My heats are not your concern, other than Felton’s needing to cover me while I’m out. If it weren’t for that, I wouldn’t need to bother you with it at all.”
“I already told you, it’s not a bother.”
“Then why are you having such a difficult time wrapping your head around me using a heat service? Why are you judging me?”
“Judging you?” Calder’s head snapped up and he emitted a faint growl. “I would never.”
“Then what?”
“When I said I didn’t understand, what I meant was, I don’t understand why you need to use a service.”
“I just told you.”
“No,” Calder stated firmly. Then, with the silkiestalpha voiceZinn had ever heard, he added, “I don’t understand… Why didn't you ask me?”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Calder
Had Calder really just said that out loud? And had he really just used hisalpha voice?
Reaching up to touch his throat, Calder met Zinn’s eyes. The omega stared at him, stunned.