Unfortunately, the real world had demands. We couldn’t simply live in a little bubble and expect the world to stop whilewe enjoyed each other. We were two different people from two different worlds.
We stopped at the bottom of her porch steps. The light above the back door was on, casting a warm yellow glow across the weathered wood. The rest of the house was dark as expected given the hour. She turned to face me, her back to the steps, and looked up at me with those eyes that had been wrecking me since I was twenty-seven years old.
I kissed her. I couldn’tnotkiss her. She was an addiction I didn’t want to cure. I put one hand at the side of her neck and pulled her in slow. She came without hesitation, her free hand finding my chest. I almost smiled. She loved touching my chest. It was incentive to keep up the workouts just so I could impress my girl. The kiss lingered. She tasted like beer and the salt air and that special blend of summer. When I finally pulled back, she stayed close, her forehead nearly touching mine.
“You want to come in?” she asked quietly.
There it was. And God, I wanted to say yes. Every cell in my body was voting yes. My cock was making its opinion very clear. But I could hear her voice from the beach still. The careful steadiness she’d used to hold herself together while she handed me her heart and asked me what I planned to do with it. She deserved a better answer than I could give her tonight.
“I need to sleep,” I said. It was the lamest excuse ever. I wanted to eat the words but they were already out there.
She pulled back just enough to look at me. I watched her read my face. Her expression was pretty clear she knew my excuse was bullshit.
“Okay,” she said.
Disappointment was in her tone. Sadness in her eyes. I knew what she was thinking, but she didn’t know the full truth. Yes, I was stepping back, but I wasn’t shutting her out.
“Summer.”
“I said okay, Colt.” She smiled. “I meant it. I’m not going to fall apart because you want to sleep in your own bed. I should probably catch up on some sleep myself. But Colt?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t lie to me, okay?” The words were soft. “I know I dumped a lot on you. I’m a big girl. When you make your decision, tell me. Don’t make up lame excuses.”
She rose up and kissed me one more time, her hand on my jaw. Then she stepped back and up onto the first porch step, which put her nearly at eye level with me. She looked at me for a moment. “You’ll figure it out,” she said. “Whatever you decide. I’ll be okay, just be honest.”
I watched her go inside. The screen door closed softly behind her. I stood there for another few seconds like an idiot, staring at the closed door, before I turned and walked back across the yard toward the property line.
The house was quiet when I came in through the back. Cody had left a light on in the kitchen, which he always did when I was out. Old habit from years of keeping different hours. I got a glass of water and stood at the counter and drank half of it. I wasn’t drunk. Not even a little, but I felt off. Like I wasn’t thinking clearly.
I picked up my phone because there was one person who would understand my predicament. It was late. Just past midnight. Texas was two hours ahead, which made it later still, but I scrolled to Charlie’s contact and pressed call before I could talk myself out of it. He picked up almost immediately, which told me he’d been awake.
“Hey,” he said. “You good?”
“Yeah,” I said. “Sorry for the hour.”
“Don’t worry about it. Olivia’s reading some book. She’s been saying ‘one more chapter’ for the last two hours, which means I’ve been awake for the last two hours because she insists on thebedside lamp.” He wasn’t angry. He loved his wife and all the little annoyances that came with sharing a home and a bed with someone. “What’s up?”
“Well, I was actually hoping I could talk to Olivia.”
He was quiet for a second. “Uh, okay.”
“Colt?” Olivia’s voice was surprised and a little sleepy. “Hey. Everything okay?”
“Everything’s fine,” I said. “Sorry to call so late.” I rubbed the back of my neck and looked out the kitchen window at the dark yard. “I wanted to ask you something. If that’s alright.”
“Of course. What’s going on?”
I leaned against the counter and tried to figure out where to start. “You know I’ve been in Surfside for a while now.”
“Yes, I was there,” she teased.
“There’s a woman here.”
Silence followed by a soft exhale. “Okay.”
“Her name’s Summer. We have history. It’s complicated and it’s also not complicated at all, which is somehow the most confusing part of the whole thing.” I exhaled. “She asked me tonight what my plans are. When the job here is done. Whether I’m going back to Texas.”