“It’s important.”
“What came after,” I murmur, and suddenly everything comes pouring out. I can’t stop myself.
***
“Now I think I totally screwed up. We can’t just pretend nothing happened, can we?” I finally ask after telling them everything.
“It depends,” Zoe says slowly.
“On what?” It’s ridiculous how hopeful I sound.
“Whether you kissed in the heat of the moment or because you have feelings for each other.”
“Easton is my best friend.” My answer comes out too fast, and I can hardly believe it myself.
“Of course he is.” Mae smiles. “But this isn’t about feelings of friendship.”
I swallow and lower my eyes. As if I didn’t know that already.
“What are you afraid of?” Zoe asks carefully, and I suspect that’s the key to the whole mess.
“What if something goes wrong? What if I lose him because we get carried away by something that might not have a chance of working?”
“Are you letting yourselves get carried away? Easton seems more like the type who overthinks everything. You do too.”
“I agree,” Mae says. “Maybe that’s the problem.”
I continue to poke at the ice cream. “No, that’s not it. Or maybe it is. I do overthink everything. But it’s more than that. I mean, what if this is just a moment of pure attraction, and nothing more?”
There’s no point in denying that I’m attracted to Easton. I only have to think about how his lips felt on mine, how his voice sounded when he whispered my name, and I get way too warm.
“Does it feel like nothing but attraction?” Zoe pulls her legs up and rests her chin on her knees.
“I don’t know. He’s my best friend. I’m not sure if there’s more to it than that. I’m completely overwhelmed by the whole thing. I don’t know what it feels like to be in love.”
“Wait—you’ve never been in love before?” Mae sounds so shocked that I almost laugh.
“No, it’s never happened.”
“It doesn’t just happen!”
“It’s not like I’ve never had a crush before. I’ve just never really been in love.”
“So how do you feel when you’re with Easton, or when you think about him?” Zoe takes the tub and sticks her spoon into the ice cream.
“If I knew that, everything would be so much easier. All I know is that I can’t lose him, and that’s why we have to stay friends,” I say and take a deep breath. “It’s always been easy between us. We could talk about anything. That’s what I need right now. Security. Easton is my anchor.” I shrug helplessly. “I can’t risk losing that.”
“But what if he has feelings for you?” Mae asks quietly, and I hate that she’s asking me the very question I’ve been trying to avoid since yesterday. I feel cold, and I don’t answer. But the words are there.
Then I wouldn’t know what to do.
Chapter 27
Easton
Hold On—Chord Overstreet
Lost in thought, I strum my guitar. I’ve had the melody of “Dance with You ’Til Midnight” stuck in my head all weekend, and I know it’s time to sit down with the guys so we can work on it together.