“It’s okay. You don’t have to talk about her if you don’t want to,” Zoe says gently. “What about Easton? Do you want to talk about him?”
I close my eyes and sigh a little as my heart returns to its normal rhythm. “Yes. No. I don’t know... I just feel so stupid.”
“You’re not,” Zoe says, contradicting me immediately. Then she takes a bite of ice cream. “Why do you think you’re losing Easton?”
“Because I really, really messed up.”
“Rayne, if you tell us everything from the beginning, maybe we can help you.” Mae gently nudges me and gives me an encouraging smile. I make a face and give in.
“We went to the beach the other day, and we wrote a song. And then we almost kissed.”
“You wrote a song?” Zoe asks.
“You almost kissed?” Mae asks.
They both look at me in utter disbelief.
“Yes.”
“What do you mean, youalmostkissed?” Mae’s eyes are wide.
“Well... it didn’t quite happen. There was a moment when we were a little too close, and we could have... but we didn’t.” I don’t know why I don’t tell them that we did actually kiss yesterday.
“Why?” Zoe leans toward the foot of the bed and grabs the wool blanket to spread over our legs.
“Because I couldn’t.” I sigh.
“But you wanted to,” Mae says. It’s a statement rather than a question. My heart skips a beat as though it wants to agree.
“No,” I say. “But somehow also yes. I just don’t know. But it doesn’t matter what happened then, because yesterday... everything went totally wrong.”
“What does that mean?” There’s an undertone of alarm in Mae’s voice.
“We had an argument yesterday, after contemporary dance class.”
“I was wondering what happened. You’ve been so quiet all afternoon,” Zoe says sympathetically.
“I kept trying to figure out why he was so angry all of a sudden, but I couldn’t understand it. It was strange, and it didn’t make any sense at all. So I went over to see him.” I take a deep breath.
“Did you argue again?” Mae takes my hand.
“Not exactly. We did, but it wasn’t a bad fight, it was just...” I go silent. I can’t tell them about Easton’s self-doubt; it’s not my place. “Anyway, it wasn’t bad. I mean, it was, but only because it felt bad. Do you know what I mean?”
They both nod, and I think they actually understand me.
“And then... we kissed, after all.”
Mae squeals enthusiastically. “I knew it! You’re too cute together for nothing to happen.”
“I’m not done yet.” I awkwardly scrape some of the still slightly hard ice cream out of the tub.
“That doesn’t sound good.” Zoe’s brown eyes widen.
“It wasn’t,” I sigh.
“Wait, quick question: Was it the kiss that wasn’t good, or what came after?”
“Really?” Zoe gives Mae a reproachful look, but she just shrugs.