24
Sawyer
She’s here. Back in my arms. And it’s not a dream.
Warm, soothing water floats around us as Honey lays back against me in the rolltop bath, my arms encircling her completely. Her head rests on my shoulder, while I lean mine against the side of hers, giving me the perfect view of her beautiful body. The body I never thought I’d gain the privilege of touching,holding, again. Too broken to be worthy.
What did I do to deserve this? To deserve her again?
One hand is clasped over her stomach, holding her flush against me, letting her curves imprint into my skin where we’re both bare.
Meanwhile, the other trails over every inch of her body that I can reach, the quiet trickle and splash of water sounding from my movement as I relish in feeling her. Her strong arms, the ones that would carry her son through any struggle. Her soft yet sturdy thighs that have kept her standing through even the toughest times and are just asmouth-watering as the first time I saw them. Her full breasts which—well, they’re just fucking great. Especially when she arches up slightly every time I massage them.
They’re also one of the reasons I’ve been perpetually hard since the moment we got in the tub. That and because I keep thinking about the several rounds of sex we had this morning, making up for lost time.
I could lie here for days, just the two of us.
Gently, though I’d happily weather any pain if it meant having her hands on me, Honey runs her fingers over the scar on my bad leg—a permanent mark left to remind me of my failure. One of the best failures ever, I suppose, given it led me back to her.
‘They’re ringing you again,’ Honey says, her voice soft and buttery in the quiet of the house. I listen out, noting the distant trill of my phone from downstairs—likely my agent wanting further explanation as to why I didn’t get on the plane to Arizona. Thenot going anymoretext I sent wasn’t particularly informative but, in my defence, I was distracted by trying to make up for the nine years I suffered without hearing the sweet melody of Honey Goldman coming.
And fuck is it worth staying for.
‘They’ll survive,’ I say, closing my eyes and continuing my exploration of her body.
‘You should go, Sawyer,’ she sighs, but there’s little protest in her tone.
‘I ain’t leaving, not when I just got you back.’
Honey lets out a breathy laugh, but still melts back into me further, rolling her head to the side so she can press a kiss to my neck. She whispers, ‘I’ll still be here when you get back.’
‘What about your apartment?’ I ask, finally giving into the small voice that’s been worrying in the back of my mind since she admitted it was ready last night.
She tenses. ‘I …’
‘Stay.’ I stroke my fingers along her arm until I can interweave them with her own. Needing to be connected to her every way I can. I squeeze her fingers. ‘Stay here. You said you were saving up and waiting for a place to buy for you and Noah. Do that here. Then you don’t have to waste your money on rent.’
Honey shakes her head. ‘Sawyer, I don’t know—’
‘Actually, screw that—just stay here permanently. You can have the house—it’s yours, for free, I don’t need to own it. You and Noah can keep it warm and happy for me when I’m back on the road.’ I press a kiss to her cheek and drop both our arms back into the water to wrap around her. Clasp her tighter to me.
Yes. That feels right. Coming back home after a rodeo win and getting to bask in that celebration with Honey and Noah, as opposed to an empty room and bed. Maybe they’d even come watch me sometimes, and I’d be riding to their cheers, knowing I was making them proud. Sure would feel good to make someone proud for once.
Honey chuckles, all light and golden, the room instantly brighter at the sound. Then, she reaches an arm behind to stroke the back of my head, fingers sifting through my hair. My eyes flutter closed at her gentle touch.
‘Thank you, but … I want to take things slow,’ she explains, a faint tremor in her voice. ‘I want this, Sawyer—I always have. But we need to do this properly. Make sure we don’t jeopardise what could’ve been again. I don’t thinkthird chances are as easy to come across. So, I’m not sure when giving over the deed to your house usually comes in a relationship,’ she laughs lightly again, ‘but maybe not in the first twenty-four hours.’
A muscle in my jaw feathers at the wordrelationship.
We’ve only just slept together again.
That sudden twinge in my limbs, a tenseness that takes over my body, surfaces with the need to run. Fear squirms inside of me, crawling under my skin as it seeks a way out. A way to overwhelm me. To whisper in my ear that if I go down this road with Honey she’ll learn what I’m truly like. She’ll uncover all my scars that I try to hide with my charm and trophies and titles.
But Honey’s seen those scars before and she’s still here in my arms. Yes, she ran before, and maybe it’s inevitable that she will again. I’m not naïve—I know how some of the other riders struggle to keep up with their family lives when they’re simmering with passion to win, zeroed in on nothing but seeking glory. And I know I fought for us last time, but maybe I just didn’t fight hard enough. I could’ve run after her, yet I let my fear best me, and watched her leave, accepting my fate.
I was simply a boy then.
Now, I’m Sawyer Nash—the cowboy with no fear.